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Whole Lesbian Sex
Jerking Off Like a Guy


Felice Newman, QSyndicate.com

"Sometimes, while masturbating, I pretend that I am a man jerking off – for some reason, the power behind that really gets me off," one woman wrote to me. Not an uncommon fantasy for butch dykes and other genderbenders – but how do you get off stroking a hunk of rubber?

Pick a dildo whose appearance and texture you like. In this case, a fairly realistic dildo might be best – it's hard to fantasize you're a horny guy when your tool is a dolphin-shaped, lavender-swirled model. Realistic dildos come in a range of styles and materials. Thick or long, with or without balls, with delicately sculpted glans or heavy, ropy veins. Silicone, Cyberskin, rubber. An elastic harness might not work well for this – you want a tight, secure fit. Check out a leather harness.

Grab the dick at the base where it meets the harness and push the base into your pelvis. Try this standing up. You can thrust into your hand. Rub back and forth. Notice sensation. Move the base around to find where it feels best. You might like to wear your dick rather low, so that it stimulates your clit from below. You can reach under the harness and open your outer labia so that the harness material is making contact with your clit and inner labia. And then, holding the base of the harness, thrust more gently into your hand. Or if you're very sensitive, you can let your outer labia muffle the sensation.

Hold the shaft of your cock with your dominant hand and the base with the other. Put some lube (or spit) on your stroking hand. Slowly stroke from bottom to top as you hold the base firmly against your flesh.

Circle the cock head with thumb and forefinger or the palm of your hand. Do you think you won't feel anything because your phallus is actually a hunk of silicone or Cyberskin? Don't be so sure. You may be able to "feel" your hand draw sensation up from your clit into the base, shaft, and glans of your cock. How? Part imagination and part your own presence.

Presence is the physical embodiment of your you-ness. It's that quality that lets someone feel your energy in a room before they can see or hear you. You can extend your own energy right up to the tip of your silicone strap-on. How? Bring your attention to your hand on your tool. Notice the sensation of your fingers on its surface. Notice the heat in your palm, the texture of the lube on your skin. Now notice sensation in your groin. Imagine your hand drawing that sexual energy from your clit as you pump your shaft.

This needn't be a solo performance: You can tantalize a hot dyke with your big, hard dick, or you can stroke yourself while watching someone else's display. Bring your rich fantasy life to the task: So, in the fantasy, I'm in a crowded bar and there's this hot girl. I can feel myself getting hard just looking at her. She looks down – the effect she's having on me is obvious. She raises an eyebrow. I reach into my pants and pull out my dick...

Pick up the rhythm. Slam your hand down onto the base. Here's where that tight fit counts most. If you don't need to hold the base in place, you can reach your other hand under the harness and stimulate your clit as you jack off. You can even hold a pocket rocket or egg vibe in place. Or you can curl two fingers inside and stimulate your G-spot. If you're someone who ejaculates with G-spot attention, you can indeed shoot when you come.

Why would a dyke want to jerk off like a guy? Some of us find male sexuality hot when it's on our terms. And some of us appreciate our own masculine sexual energy. Many lesbians watch gay male porn, identify with the guys in straight porn, and indulge fantasies of sex with men and sex as men. Dicks are hot. Ask your butch pals, the same ones who buy packing dildos, strap-ons with balls, or gear that allows them to piss standing up. Or, ask a femme, who having read this column, is off looking for a butch who'll give her a hot show – maybe she'll offer you a hand job, too.

Felice Newman is a founding publisher of Cleis Press and the author of The Whole Lesbian Sex Book: A Passionate Guide for All of Us. She can be reached at LesbianSex@qsyndicate.com. Visit her at www.cleispress.com

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