Whole Lesbian Sex
Go! Get Laid – Now

Felice Newman,

Go, have sex. Now. Get laid. Bathe your face in a woman's juices, drill your fingers into her center, drape yourself over her lap as she turns your ass cheeks bright red, offer up your sex-tender nipples, open your legs to her hands. Don't wait another minute.

Don't let your dildos gather lint in your sock drawer, your lube bottle glue itself shut from disuse. Don't let the batteries die in your vibrator for lack of action.

Don't go another hour without coming into your own hand. Don't go to bed hungry, do wet the sheets. Don't go to sleep without having experienced sexual pleasure yet one more day.

Don't let a week go by without gripping a woman's hips as she grinds into you. Go to a strip club, a dance club, a sex club. Dance like you're really dirty.

Don't let acquiescence fill the void left by missed opportunities. Don't weigh down the room with your resignation. Don't become lead-footed with hopelessness.

I speak to many women who are not living the sex lives they would envision for themselves. Some have put off their own sexual fulfillment year after year. They have spent decades in sexless lesbian relationships or sexless heterosexual marriages, or relationships where the sex is unsatisfying, pro forma, or pleasureless.

Then they spend more years wrestling with big decisions about their marriages and/or long-term relationships. I understand how hard it is to imagine risking the leap to a new life. There's the loyalty you feel toward your partner and children, and then there are economic considerations�

Other women I speak to have said no to sex because they are afraid. They know it will take work to recover their sexuality from the traumas life has dealt them. And they are terrified. So they shut down. It's easier that way.

I speak to women who have intense fantasies they've never told anyone. Then they tell me, and they are shocked to learn that their secret perversion is so popular there are numerous Internet discussion lists, chat rooms, whole websites devoted to their specific turn-on.

I know couples who mean to get around to attending to their sex life, but it just never seems to happen. They used to love erotically charged long weekends, intricate scenes of dominance and submission, threesomes, play parties – but now they're caught up in the logistics of their household and careers.

I feel so much empathy and support for everyone I speak to. Yet I also feel impatient. Don't wait, my insides scream. Do it now. Not when you feel less afraid. Not when your partner decides to change. Not when the baby is sleeping through the night, or when you have more money, lose 10 pounds, gain more confidence. Now.

Remember that your time is the only thing you have that cannot be replaced. How do you want to spend the rest of your years? If you could have the sex life of your dreams, what would it look like? If you don't have that life now, what's stopping you?

And if you are living the sex life of your dreams, fabulous! Tell your friends every filthy detail – and then ask them what they've been up to lately.

Felice Newman is a founding publisher of Cleis Press, coaches individuals and couples and she is the author of "The Whole Lesbian Sex Book: A Passionate Guide for All of Us." She can be reached at Visit her at

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