FEATURE

Sex talk
Speaking of Co-ed Group Sex


Simon Sheppard, QSyndicate.com

Some of us are gay. Some of us are straight. And some of us – many of us, maybe – are more or less bisexual. And that means that some of us lucky bastards have sex with both men and women, sometimes at the same time. At its most basic, that translates into a three-way situation that involves, for queer men, both another guy and a gal. But in the wonderful world of group sex, the combinations can get more involved and exciting. Whether it's an organized sex party or an impromptu clusterfuck, co-ed sex parties allow even the most minimally bi guys to explore a wide range of possibilities. And satisfy their curiosity, too.

"I'm pretty much totally gay," says one adventurous dude, "but I've discovered I like going to mixed parties where there are boys, girls, queer, straight, whatever. It's a real turn-on for me. I especially like to watch men having sex with women, though I don't do that myself."

Still, many men who mostly make it with men can get shy around girls. A woman who puts on "pansexual" parties says, "I've discovered that queer men seem more reluctant to go to co-ed parties than straights are. That's no doubt in part because they're often in a distinct minority there, and many straight or somewhat bi guys will just prefer to be with women."

And maybe it's also because some gay guys have performance issues. But naked women really aren't that scary – really they're not. Relax; a pussy is no reason to lose your hard-on. And if you're bi, rather than strictly gay, you can be in hog heaven, playing in a puppy pile with both pussies and pricks. (That goes for mostly het guys, too, who get to explore their queerer desires in a safe, accepting environment.)

If you're planning to go to a mixed party, or to get together with a mixed-sex group of friends and fuck around, remember that the usual party rules apply, only more so. Women, whether straight or queer, too often get insistently hit on by overly aggressive men. (So much so that many co-ed parties won't admit unaccompanied straight guys.) So while, of course, you're not the sort of guy who'd violate anyone's personal space by showering them with unwelcome attention, it would behoove you to be extra-respectful around the female of the species. Not that the favor is always returned. "This bi woman I know," says Adventurous Dude, "really gets off on scoring with gay-identified guys. She can be really seductive at parties. Hell, she even went down on me in public. Sucked like a Hoover."

On the other hand, women generally don't go to sex parties merely to satisfy queer men's curiosity. If you're heading into somewhat uncharted territory, do it open-mindedly, willing to learn. If you've never played with a clit, you might ask for a bit of guidance. Always play safe. And if you're the least bit reluctant to do anything, remember that you don't have to. You don't have to touch titties unless you want to. (And if you do want to, that doesn't mean you'll lose your Gay Card.) Let what you do with women – and men, too – stem from your genuine desire, not from what you "should" do, or what you want other people to think of you, and you're more likely to have a great time.

And when it comes to group sex, having a fucking great time – whether with men, women, or anything that moves – is what it's all about. Right?

Simon Sheppard is the author of Kinkorama: Dispatches from the Front Lines of Perversion



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