Speaking of Co-ed Group Sex
Simon Sheppard, QSyndicate.com
Some of us are gay. Some of us are straight. And some of us – many of us,
maybe – are more or less bisexual. And that means that some of us lucky
bastards have sex with both men and women, sometimes at the same time. At
its most basic, that translates into a three-way situation that involves,
for queer men, both another guy and a gal. But in the wonderful world of
group sex, the combinations can get more involved and exciting. Whether it's
an organized sex party or an impromptu clusterfuck, co-ed sex parties allow
even the most minimally bi guys to explore a wide range of possibilities.
And satisfy their curiosity, too.
"I'm pretty much totally gay," says one adventurous dude, "but I've
discovered I like going to mixed parties where there are boys, girls, queer,
straight, whatever. It's a real turn-on for me. I especially like to watch
men having sex with women, though I don't do that myself."
Still, many men who mostly make it with men can get shy around girls. A
woman who puts on "pansexual" parties says, "I've discovered that queer men
seem more reluctant to go to co-ed parties than straights are. That's no
doubt in part because they're often in a distinct minority there, and many
straight or somewhat bi guys will just prefer to be with women."
And maybe it's also because some gay guys have performance issues. But naked
women really aren't that scary – really they're not. Relax; a pussy is no
reason to lose your hard-on. And if you're bi, rather than strictly gay, you
can be in hog heaven, playing in a puppy pile with both pussies and pricks.
(That goes for mostly het guys, too, who get to explore their queerer
desires in a safe, accepting environment.)
If you're planning to go to a mixed party, or to get together with a
mixed-sex group of friends and fuck around, remember that the usual party
rules apply, only more so. Women, whether straight or queer, too often get
insistently hit on by overly aggressive men. (So much so that many co-ed
parties won't admit unaccompanied straight guys.) So while, of course,
you're not the sort of guy who'd violate anyone's personal space by
showering them with unwelcome attention, it would behoove you to be
extra-respectful around the female of the species. Not that the favor is
always returned. "This bi woman I know," says Adventurous Dude, "really gets
off on scoring with gay-identified guys. She can be really seductive at
parties. Hell, she even went down on me in public. Sucked like a Hoover."
On the other hand, women generally don't go to sex parties merely to satisfy
queer men's curiosity. If you're heading into somewhat uncharted territory,
do it open-mindedly, willing to learn. If you've never played with a clit,
you might ask for a bit of guidance. Always play safe. And if you're the
least bit reluctant to do anything, remember that you don't have to. You
don't have to touch titties unless you want to. (And if you do want to,
that doesn't mean you'll lose your Gay Card.) Let what you do with women –
and men, too – stem from your genuine desire, not from what you "should" do,
or what you want other people to think of you, and you're more likely to
have a great time.
And when it comes to group sex, having a fucking great time – whether with
men, women, or anything that moves – is what it's all about. Right?
Simon Sheppard is the author of Kinkorama: Dispatches from the Front Lines
Sex Talk: Other Subjects
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