Simon Sheppard, QSyndicate.com
Getting fucked is like eating ripe Camembert. If you've never done it before, it might seem unappealing; your first taste may even prompt you to make a face. But eventually, you may well find it totally yummy.
No, not all guys find anal sex pleasurable right off the bat; it often takes some getting used to. Sphincter stimulation can make newbies feel uncomfortable, or like they have to take a poop. With experience, though, penetration can be transformed from "disturbing" to "delicious."
Practice makes perfectly horny, and that includes pre-penis rehearsals with fingers or toys. Not even that is foolproof, though. One fellow complains: "I tried using a butt plug for the first time, but I didn't feel any prostate stimulation and I lost my erection. All I really felt was pressure
on my sphincter." Well, part of that is a matter of mechanics. Not all butt plugs will angle down to the prostate gland; if you want a toy that does the job, there are specially-shaped gizmos that head straight for a guy's G-spot. And plenty of men sometimes go soft when something slithers up their
asses; it's really nothing to worry about.
Then there's the matter of position. Many guys have a distinctly favorite way to get fucked: on the back; doggy style; straddling and sitting down on dick. If one position doesn't afford you pleasure, you and your partner should try rearranging things. And, regardless of position, make sure Mr.
Top enters you slowly, with a whole lot of lube. (That's water-based lube,
to go with his condom.) Once he's inside and you feel your muscles relax, then let him pound away.
There may be, regardless, a bit of initial discomfort, the kind of thing bottomboys work through in pursuit of a greater orgasmic goal. But if you feel pain that's sharp, severe, or persistent, there's something wrong. The discomfort could merely be due to lack of relaxation, or it could be the result of a pre-existing medical condition. Either way, a gentle withdrawal and a rest are called for. If re-entry hurts, try another day. And if the pain is recurrent, a visit to the doc may be in order.
Getting fucked shouldn't be an endurance contest. Not everyone's tender tissues can take the same amount of shtupping, so if things get sore after a while, it's clearly time to stop. No reason to apologize to your topman. The fun is supposed to be mutual.
A whole lot of anal pleasure has to do with the mind as well as the hole. We've been taught that the butt is a filthy, forbidden zone, and that no real man lets himself be penetrated, and that kind of puritanical training can run deep. But the anal region is a big erogenous zone, no doubt about
it; the bundles of nerves in your bottom are capable of sending you to ecstasy. So the wise bottomboy lies back, allows himself to relax, and enjoys the sensations of a shaft inside his chute.
There's nothing shameful about being an accomplished anal bottom. As one slogan has it, "It takes a real man to take it up the butt." One very butch guy confesses, "I never really enjoyed getting screwed till I began to think of it as the top doing me a favor, as well as vice versa."
And if, after both mental and physical practice, you still don't find getting fucked enjoyable? Hey, don't do it. Being a queer guy doesn't come with a set of bedroom-based requirements, and there's a whole spectrum of sexy stuff to do besides getting banged up the butt. After all, not everyone
Simon Sheppard is the author of Kinkorama: Dispatches from the Front Lines
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