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Ross von Metzke | September 08, 2008

Survivor produces a hunk

Before we get into something of a serious nature – yes serious, folks� it can�t be all fun and games – I have to thank the folks over at Queerty.com for reminding me that reality shows sometimes offer the best fodder for hotties of the week.

We�ve certainly seen it with Survivor, and this week�s hunk John Kenney joins the many, many men before him from the show who have brought joy to our little gay hearts.

The Survivor cast-off turned model turned heads when he appeared on the show, but its these scantily clad photos that got our attention.

Although I have to say that personally it was upon learning that one of his first jobs upon moving to LA was operating the mechanical bull at the Saddle Ranch that I first became more curious than ever to experience the swivel in his hips.

Alright, folks� enough blabbing.

Lemme turn you lose on some grade A beef.

Well, I suppose it was inevitable – despite suggestions to the contrary that the Republican Party is as divided as Hillary Clinton Democrats slow to climb aboard the Barack Obama train bound for Washington D.C., Sarah Palin managed to rally staunch conservatives at the Republican National Convention last week, breathing new life into the McCain ticket.

Which, of course, left Democrats clamoring for more kindling to fuel the Palin fire this week.

Of course, there�s the unwed, underage Bristol Palin baby mama saga that will undoubtedly play out right up until election time. But I think it�s become rather clear that, unless you want to go after Sarah Palin directly for voting to cut sex education, you�re not going to make much of a dent among a demographic of people who seem to think babies should predate a high-school diploma.

This week, some snoopy bitch dug up a stat which names Wasilla – that podunk town Palin mayored for all those years – as the meth capital of Alaska, with no less than 40-percent of calls to a child�s protection agency nearby stemming from meth related home visits.

Then there are rumors Palin is cheating on her hubby, that she was involved in all sorts of shady, behind the scenes shit while serving as Governor and that her daughter Bristol is acutally the real birth mother of 4-month-old Trig, who was born with Down syndrome. Several of the headlines with undoubtedly prove to be rumor, but will they chip a dent in the John McCain ticket along the way?

Stay tuned to find out, because this is the most press a Republican candidate has received all year.

From one queen to another, Lily Allen and Elton John co-hosted the GQ Magazine awards in London last week, and though you might expect the two musical Brits to get along famously, such was not the case.

Maybe Elton wanted a hit of whatever Lily was on?

Obviously intoxicated, Lily Allen took to the stage late in the show, Elton at her side, and announced to the crowd, �And now to the most important part of the night,� to which Elton quickly replied, �What? Are you going to have another drink?�

And the claws come out.

Putting her best Winehouse foot forward, the drunk bitch turned to Sir Elton and screamed, �Fuck off Elton. I am 40 years younger than you and have my whole life ahead of me!�

Shit – those is fighting words, especially to a queen who�s just been reminded he ain�t in his 20�s anymore.

Elton�s reply? �I could still snort you under the table.�

See, Lily wasn�t ready for that. She played it off like she didn�t have a clue in hell what he was talking about, but the caked up coke booger in her nose says otherwise. Bitch sort of stumbled through the rest of their banter and then wandered off stage.

Forty years older with forty more successful career years under his belt, Lily. If you can manage another two hits in the UK, I�ll be impressed.

Meanwhile, from one train wreck to the next, word is spreading that Lynne Spears (mother to Britney Spears and new mom, 17-year-old Jaime Lynn Spears) really is telling all in her bio.

A book about her experiences mommying the two op tarts, a source says Lynne actually admits to turning a blind eye when Britney started drinking at 13, giving her approval to 14-year-old Brit dating (and ultimately giving it up to) an 18-year-old, and chalking Britney�s dabbling in drugs at 15 up to coming of age.

It was only when Britney was caught with coke and marijuana in her purse at 16 that mommy Spears stood up and took notice.

Please. When my mom found out I was smoking weed at 19, she took a flashlight to my eyes and staged an intervention. What the fuck kind of mom lets her daughter experiment with drugs at 15, let alone give it up at 14?

Wasn�t Britney the first to play that whole �virgin until marriage� card? Sure, she changed her tune around the time she first went down on Justin Timberlake, but 14? That means she was two years in the bag when her first single came out.

Gives new meaning to the tune, �Baby, One More Time.�

We haven�t seen excerpts yet, so we aren�t completely convinced Lynne is quite this forthcoming, but if any of this is true, Dina Lohan should beat her in the fucking face with that �Mother of the Year� trophy she took home earlier this year.

And just as a heads up – because I can�t imagine what her monthly expense report must look like – word is Vanity Fair photog (and corruptor of innocent youth like Hannah Montana, no less) Annie Leibovitz is nearly a million dollars in debt.

The magazine pays her $2 million a year, not to mention freelance gigs she likely banks. According to reports, Annie owes back taxes, property taxes, an exorbitant amount in equipment rental fees she�s allegedly never returned and more.

She should put out a book of outtakes from the Miley Cyrus shoot and pay off her debt that way.

You know� the ones where Lindsay Lohan dropped by and they dry humped while eating Wings & Things in the back room. Where Billy Ray Cyrus dumped a can of Pabst all over Miley�s quivering navel. That shit would sell like mad. Just a suggestion.

And with that, my friends, I must bid you adieu. Until next time, remember – take time to stop and smell the gossip. – Issued by Gay Link Content

  • Ross von Metzke is the Entertainment Editor of Gay Web Monkey and GayWired.com. The former Editor in Chief of Xodus Magazine, his work has appeared in YM, Performing Arts, The San Diego Union Tribune, Entertainment Weekly, Instinct and Link. Ross lives in Los Angeles.

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