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Hollywood Celebrity Buzz

Gossip So Good, It's Got To Be Gay

Ross von Metzke | August 25, 2008

A very gay week

Jesus, this has been one gay ass week. If it hadn�t been for the flight attendant Pierre who suggested a Midori Sour might �do the trick and calm my nerves� as I plopped down on my flight from LA to DC, I might just say the forthcoming gossip might be the gayest shit I�d heard all week.

Ordinarily, I would kick things off here with a gratuitous sex shot of someone yummy. But since a boybander, a reality TV hunk turned model and one of the sexiest Latin singers of all time figure into this weeks column, I figured it might all be just a bit too much to handle.

To kick things off, Lance Bass is gonna be pissed, because according to Perez Hilton, his claim as the official gay boy band member is about to come to an end. Yes, Perez claims one of the original boybanders, NKOTB singer Jonathan Knight, is waiting in the wings to steal Lance�s thunder and lay it all out on the table.

Even better – his BF is supposedly an actor who was on Sweet Valley High.

Remember that shit? I still think Saved by the Bell was better, and I�ll always have a soft spot in my heart for Swan�s Crossing because it brought the world Sarah Michelle Gellar (yes, even before she played daughter to La Lucci on All My Children). But Sweet Valley High was really friggin� gay.

Jonathan Knight is 39 years old and in the years following his stint with the New Kids (he left in the middle of a tour) he found work as a real estate developer and told Oprah he spent many years after the band�s break up battling clinical depression.

Speaking as a gay man, getting panties thrown at my face night after night would be a real downer for me too.

Well, if the rumor is true, as with Lance Bass before him, the gay community is waiting to welcome him with open arms.

Little bit of advice though� don�t date Reichen. He doesn�t need to fuck every gay boybander.

Even more gay than that, following in Clay Aiken�s footsteps, Ricky Martin has fathered twins, according to his publicist. And as with Clay, he didn�t father those kids the old fashioned way.

Yup, folks� baster all the way.

Unlike Aiken, however, Martin actually plans to raise his tots as his own. The babies were born via a surrogate mother and the new dad is said to be elated.

"The children, delivered via gestational surrogacy, are healthy and already under Ricky's full-time care," a statement from Ricky�s publicist read. "Ricky is elated to begin this new chapter in his life as a parent and will be spending the remainder of the year out of the public spotlight in order to spend time with his children."

Makes sense. He hasn�t had a hit stateside in almost a decade. Not sure if, as the tabloids suggest, this is really Ricky�s way of coming out� plenty of guys use a surrogate to have kids, its just that usually when they do, it�s because their wife cant get pregnant or has a dick.

Hmmm� regardless of what Ricky�s trying to tell us, congrats on the kids.

Much further up the gay food chain, we�re told that, despite rumors suggesting Jodie Foster and Cydney Bernard are �this close� to reconciling, the split – which could very well go through – might result in Jodie parting with a fair chunk of change to keep details out of the tabloids.

According to reports, Jodie might have to cough up some $25 million in hush money to see Cydney go quietly into the night. The National Enquirer says Foster has even tried getting Cydney to bond with her new lady love – writer and producer Cynthia Mort – so that all three can deal with this peacefully an amicably.

The Enquirer reports that Jodie is worth $100 million – half of which she earned while with Cydney. So, should Cydney choose to pursue a suit, she could get Jodie for half of that money. If Jodie wants to keep her private life private, she might just cough up the cash.

Cough it up, girl. I know that by thanking Cydney publicly that one time, you think you�re all out and about, but for those 15 people in Ohio who didn�t get the memo and think the tough as nails, beater wearing chick you played in The Brave One/Panic Room/Flight Plan was just a coincidence, I�d keep her quiet. You just never know in this day and age, do you?

And finally – because I haven�t lost enough of my brunch, for those of you who can�t stop with just getting a gander at Harry Potter�s boy bits on Broadway comes word his co-star is gonna strip down� on film.

Sorry ladies, it ain�t Hermione.

No, it�s Ron Weasley – Rupert Grint.

Guess we�re about to find out if the carpets match the drapes. According to reports, Rupert is scheduled to strip down for a sex scene in the indie flick Cherry Bomb.

The actor said he chose the role because he was looking for new challenges to take him outside his comfort zone and the script appealed to him.

Stripping to be taken seriously is an age old tradition in Hollywood. Just look what it did for Elizabeth Berkeley�s career.

And now that I�ve managed to slip two Saved by the Bell references into one Buzz, I think my work here is done. Until we meet again folks, remember� take time to stop and smell the gossip. – Issued by Gay Link Content

  • Ross von Metzke is the Entertainment Editor of Gay Web Monkey and GayWired.com. The former Editor in Chief of Xodus Magazine, his work has appeared in YM, Performing Arts, The San Diego Union Tribune, Entertainment Weekly, Instinct and Link. Ross lives in Los Angeles.

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