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Gossip So Good, It's Got To Be Gay

Ross von Metzke | July 07, 2008

No name, no info, just a pic

Hey folks.

So this is the point where I usually introduce some gratuitous photos of some obscenely hot man in order to set the mood and get you all riled up for some good gossip. But because it is summer in America and the heat and the sun make it all about sex, we decided to do things a little differently� and devote an entire series of articles to hot men.

To kick things off we have Broadway hunk – the man with the best biceps on the New York stage, Nick Adams. We got Nick to chat about everything – taking it all off on stage, his devoted workout regimen� Mario Lopez. Oh yeah – we left no stone unturned.

As for who we have coming up� tons of men, and I don�t want to spoil the surprise, so I�ll just say we have actors, singers, writers. Models, sports figure� you name it, we�re gonna find it.

So to tide you over� no name, no info, just a pic of one of our forthcoming guys in the series! We�ll keep doing this as the series progresses as a preview of sorts!

Now, onto the column!

Seriously, are any of you following this Christie Brinkley custody trial? I�m not accustomed to caring about the plight of multi-millionaire supermodels, but the shit is hitting the fan.

Among the things ex-husband Peter Cook admitted to – spending more than $3,000 a month on porn, though he insists he and Christie occasionally watched it to get off together. Bribing the 18-year-old he banged on multiple occasions with $300,000 of Christie�s money to disappear – she didn�t, but I�m hoping she got a fierce condo with the cash.

Brinkley�s lawyer keeps driving home that this is not the sort of person you want raising your two young children. Cook�s lawyer, grasping at straws, is basically implying Brinkley brought this all on herself because she�s on her fourth husband. Both side are flinging mud, but if Cook essentially breaking down in tears on the stand is any indication, Brinkley�s future is lookin� mighty rosy right about now. Not to mention we get to watch it all play out because Cook�s attempts to have the trial closed to the public were denied when Brinkley argued that America should have the right to se what a sick bastard she spent ten years with.

Betcha Billy Joel feels like he got off easy right about now!

Oh, and that�s another tactic Cook�s lawyer has been trying to use, asking what kind of woman puts her husband on the stand and invites America to watch him get dragged through the mud. The kind of woman who�s fucking over her husband, you dumb ass.

At least Christie had a pre-nup� with all that money she got from Billy, I should hope so! Here�s hoping Cook winds up working the front desk at some Hampton�s hideaway and having to watch cougar Christie parade through with an endless parade of college aged men.

On the subject of folks who need a time out, folks at Amy Winehouse�s record label are reportedly at their wits end with the troubled singer.

Apparently refusing to release another album from the soul singer until she cleaned up her act did no good – nor does rehab seem to have, given her recent erratic behavior – so the label is now placing Amy under house arrest.

Yeah, that�s a good idea. Because forcing a crack head to stay inside is totally the message you want to send.

Not sure exactly what tipped everyone off to the fact that there�s a problem. Was it Winehouse calling Kanye West a cunt and then punching a fan at Nelson Mandela�s birthday tribute concert? Because to me, rattling off obscenities and provoking violence in front of a man who brought peace to South Africa is filth, plain and simple.

Maybe it was when she jumped out of a moving car and took off running down the street last week?

Better still, those open sores and lacerations she�s been sporting since earlier this year are kind of a clue something�s off.

Whatever the case, seems like everyone�s officially clued into the fact that Amy�s bat shit crazy. So, they�re handling it by stationing an armed guard outside her flat to keep the riff raff away and to watch Amy 24/7.

Yeah, well, who�s inside making sure Amy doesn�t mix Clorox, Claritin, Red Bull and baking soda, toss it on an empty Jiffy Pop container, bite both ends off a Twizzler and snort it up her nose? Bitch doesn�t need security – she needs a straitjacket.

Lovely lezzie Lindsay Lohan was out and about last week celebrating her 22nd birthday – was it a year ago already she was going ahead with her booze sponsored, Vegas based 21st while sporting an alcohol alert anklet?

So what if that party wound up cancelled at the last minute by a sideline to rehab. By all accounts, this years bash was calm by comparison. Lohan and a hodgepodge of �close� friends descended on LA�s Roosevelt Hotel for a quiet evening of music, appetizers and – well, let�s just say there�s no shots of Linds passed out in the passenger seat of an SUV this time around.

Lindsay cozied up to rumored girlfriend Samantha Ronson at the Hollywood hotspot, and according to spies on the scene, even slipped her some lip action while ducking behind the DJ booth later in the evening.

Adding fuel to the fire these two are playing house, Lindsay placed a call to Ryan Seacrest�s radio show this morning to tell the hostess with the mostest she just wants a happy and healthy year for herself and her loved ones – adding that it�s all about "being with the person that I care about."

Love it when the not quite out celebs start using gender neutral terminology. Out Magazine might wanna start cooking up a face mask for their sequel to last year�s Jodie/Anderson cover.

On the subject of Out, our favorite metrosexual gay boy in straight drag Pete Wentz graces this month�s cover – and has a thing or two to say about homophobia.

In addition to calling the acceptance of same-sex marriage �inevitable�, he remembers being called faggot multiple times while walking down the street, the ramifications that followed his admitting that he�s made out with dudes and an idea papa in law Joe Simpson came up with to prove he has absolutely no problem with Wentz�s free lovin� vibe.

�He was like, �We should take a picture in front of the Christmas tree holding hands,�� Wentz says.

That might be even grosser than papa Joe talking up Jessica�s tits.

I'm totally down with Wentz showing love to the gay community... I'd be even more down if he were, indeed, gay. But why'd he have to go and clarify that statement that he makes out with boys only applied to a few isolated incidents six years ago?

Cuz' Ashlee would so not go for that.

And since we�ve gone that far down toward the gutter, a little tidbit I�m just thrilled about. Whether he�s overstating just a tad or not, I dunno, but somebody let Daniel Radcliffe off his leash without a publicist and talks turned to the next Harry Potter movie.

In the interview, Radcliffe tried to drive home that the boy wizard was growing up and, so too would the movies – to the tune of sex and drug references. Radcliffe even went so far as to make a Trainspotting reference, that British flick about getting sucked into an underground drug scene.

What – Hermione�s on uppers to study for finals. Harry�s finally taking Quaaludes to cope with his utterly fucked up existence. Dumbledore OD�d on Boniva. Seriously, I bet it�s some totally mild reference.

Daniel�s probably just trying to get people all riled up so they wont be shocked when he shows his willy on Broadway this Fall.

Which reminds me – I gotta get tickets to that.

Until next tome folks�remember, take time to stop and smell the gossip! – Issued by Gay Link Content

  • Ross von Metzke is the Entertainment Editor of Gay Web Monkey and GayWired.com. The former Editor in Chief of Xodus Magazine, his work has appeared in YM, Performing Arts, The San Diego Union Tribune, Entertainment Weekly, Instinct and Link. Ross lives in Los Angeles.

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