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Gossip So Good, It's Got To Be Gay

Ross von Metzke | June 17, 2008

Antonio Sabato Jnr, Tila Tequila

Perhaps it was when that queeny ass judge on NBC�s new reality hit Circus of the Stars offered a bit ole �Grazie� to Antonio Sabato Jnr�s mother for putting him on this Earth that I remembered what a juicy slab of man meat that guy is. Seriously, the guy is hot – and watching him fly above the crowd without his shirt on dangling from those silks by his cut arms, I must admit I too was getting a bit hot under the collar.

Of course, gays know Antonio best as the one time package hocking Calvin Klein – and then later for flashing his meat in the gay film Testosterone. It�s good to have him back out front and center – you know, as something other than the father of Virginia Madsen�s kid� I fucking hate that bitch.

Judging from the skill set these circus performers are expected to convey as the show moves forward – wheel of death, trapeze, bungee – I�m thinking we�re gonna see a lot more shirtless Antonio moving forward.

Which is fine by me.

Short of cross country skiing, anything he can do without a shirt is a good thing.

According to her publicist, Madonna and little bro Christopher Ciccone are no longer in touch, but that doesn�t mean the guy has to go out and write a tell all about her.

But that�s just what he�s doing – according to reports, Christopher is pairing with Simon & Schuster and famed biographer Wendy Leigh for Life With My Sister Madonna. Damn – are we finally gonna find out if she really fucked Sandra Bernhard?

Christopher – who served as artistic director on Truth or Dare and staged his sis� Girlie Show – has apparently been estranged from his sister for some time� if reports are to be believed, largely because he refuses to kick his drug and alcohol habit. Now that she�s stopped throwing cash in his direction, a source reveals to Perez Hilton that Chris is strapped.

"Christopher can't get work. He can't function. He's been evicted from his Miami apartment. He's broke. They took away his car. M's even offered to get him a job if he goes to rehab, but he still won't go. She�s never given someone more chances than Christopher Ciccone.�

Well, he is her brother – she even kicked Sean Penn to the curb after a while. Seriously, what could Christopher possibly have to say that the world doesn�t already know. How many sleepless nights she sat up getting into character for Body of Evidence. What dirt Rosie has on her that explains why Madonna returns her calls. What free clinic she swung by after she made out with Britney at the Mtv Awards.

Oh who are we kidding – we�re so in line.

Moving further down the food chain, now that Linda Bollea – that�s Hulk Hogan�s ex – is soon to be single, she�s acting like a teen all over again. Rediscovering his misbegotten youth, maybe?

Linda�s been hitting the town with a 19-year-old.

Granted, that�s 19 in Key West years, which means you take a freshman in college, add about 15 years of sun damage, bleach his hair white, deck him out in pookah shells, a Versace knock off and some white linen Club Monaco three-quarter shorts and call him 19� but it�s still 19.

He�s so young, he was a year behind her 47-year-old daughter Brooke in high-school.

I wonder what Linda Hogan�s pussy smells like? Anabolic steroids and Old Spice? Hawaiian Tropic and Sun In? Alize and Cocoa Butter? The possibilities are endless.

Needless to say Brooke is none too happy. She was hoping all eyes would be on her when her new album drops and she shows up at the release party with George Hamilton.

This week is the week, folks – California begins issuing marriage licenses to gay couples, and unless you�ve been living under a rock, you�ve heard Ellen plans to make it official with Portia and George Takei plans to make an honest man out of his partner Brad.

Who�s next?

Tila Tequila?

She�s not ready to walk down the aisle just yet, but Tila does think her revolutionary show about 20-something sluts who swing both ways and barely know how to put on a condom made an impact on those bipartisan justices who legalized gay marriage.

"It is because of me – I definitely think [my show] has helped the movement. Before it came out, everyone was still a little apprehensive about [same sex relationships]. Then they realized, 'Wow, everyone is really into this stuff, and it is fine.' The next thing you know, [gay marriage] is legal."

Never mind the years of legal battles and the dozens of patient couples who pleaded their cases time and time again. The drunken antics of some reality show slut pushed the issue over the top.

What�s next? Pimp My Ride�s gonna pave the way for legalized marijuana?

In far more ghetto news – NY DJ Wendy Williams was slapped with a big ole� lawsuit from talent booker Nicole Spence. Wendy�s famous for her tell it like it is approach to morning talk – she told Whitney at the height of her crack addiction she looked like a �broomstick with two tennis ball titties� and asked Toni Braxton what year she got her nose done – and is a staple among the gay community in NYC.

The suit claims that while Spence worked for The Wendy Williams Experience, Williams' manager/husband dominated the workplace, abused Williams and repeatedly propositioned Spence. Damn – that ain�t right.

That�s like Lou Grant telling Mary to �take it up the butt.�

It gets worse. Spence goes on to say that Williams and Hunter hired a hit man to silence a rival DJ – HOT 97 radio�s DJ Tarsha Jones – because she badmouthed Williams.

That�s some ghetto bullshit. They should do a special WKRP Movie of the Week and have Linda Evans guest star as a rival DJ who puts a hit out on Loni.

Lifetime would be all over that crap.

That�s all the grime we got for you this week� check in next time, and until then – take time to stop and smell the gossip! – Issued by Gay Link Content

  • Ross von Metzke is the Entertainment Editor of Gay Web Monkey and GayWired.com. The former Editor in Chief of Xodus Magazine, his work has appeared in YM, Performing Arts, The San Diego Union Tribune, Entertainment Weekly, Instinct and Link. Ross lives in Los Angeles.

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