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Ross von Metzke | April 08, 2008

Naomi Campbell, John McCain

We�ve shared pics of beefcake Leighton Stultz before, but I�ve gotta say, every time he comes out with a new photoshoot, we�re smitten all over again.

From fitness magazine covers to the covers of romance novels; big New York runway shows to underwear campaigns, not only is Leighton great to look at, but in keeping in touch with his fans though a series of online blogs and campaigns, he�s also one of the most accessible.

There are several things in the works for Leighton in 2008.

First up, a horror movie. With any luck, instead of the damsel in distress taking her top off, Leighton will have to drop his undies. After the flick wraps, expect to see Leighton star in his very own fitness video.

You know, frankly. I expect that if you look like this without your shirt on, you should be obligated to share your secrets with the world.

Ah Leighton�thanks for the eye candy.

Naomi Campbell, arrested again?

On the heels of news she�s guest starring on a forthcoming episode of Ugly Betty (in an episode where staffers at Mode form a softball team no less – what�s she gonna pitch? Cell phones!) comes news the Amazon-like supermodel is in hot water once again� this time for allegedly verbally and physically assaulting staff at London�s Heathrow Airport for misplacing her bags. One report even suggests she hit a cop.

How very Zsa Zsa of her.

Now as many of you know, Naomi has a history of violence. She�s been accused of hitting her assistant, throwing a cell phone at her maid� for a while, there was even a rumour she�d left a personal assistant stranded in Africa without a passport. All this, and she made Tyra Banks cry on national television.

I hope Naomi gets probation again� I wanna see her strut out of community service headquarters once again wearing a floor length gown, fur coat and dripping in diamonds. That was fierce, fierce, fierce.

I wonder what it�s going to take for Naomi to learn her lesson. Maybe they can lock her up in a women�s prison, assign her to a bitch named Pat and make all the inmates take turns reading aloud from her first and only novel, Swan.

I�d crack. I so would.

Back in Los Angeles, Jenna Jameson put on quite a show outside a Hollywood hot spot, signing autographs, posing for photos and telling the paps that she�d just given up her table to none other than David Beckham.

Jenna said she didn�t mind – and, of course, every last person hovering around her was waiting for the obligatory sex story in which she waxes poetic about every last lude, crude thing she wants to do to David while holding a bottle of hot oil, the thin fabric of his jock strap the only piece of clothing separating their taut, horny bodies.

But she didn�t. Instead she said she gave up her table to him because she has a thing for his wife.

Who, Posh? Can you even imagine Jenna and Victoria getting their knickers in a frenzy?

�I guess girls are always hotter than guys,� she said, once again reminding Americans that even though we only ever seem to see her involved with men, at her core, she�s bi – and would far rather make it with a woman.

Fear not, folks� she also assured the paps that she and boyfriend Tito Ortiz are trying to get pregnant. Um, she�s gonna leave porn once she has a baby, right?

In more �caught on tape� news, some rapper named Foxxjazell, who apparently won a record deal after appearing on Tyra Banks� talk show – who knew girl had that kind of hook up – took some time out from a busy evening on the town with her man to talk to TMZ�s cameras about life, love and being transgendered.

All valid topics of conversation – only her date, it seems, didn�t get that the Tyra special was devoted to transgender recording artists.

First things first – is this where we�re at in TV land? We�re so out of ideas we need to segment out our singing competitions? Monday: Trannies Who Sing; Tuesday: Amish Midgets Who Play the Banjo; Wednesday: Children of Incest Poetry Spectacular. Where does it end?

Back to Foxxjazell. What happened was a very verbal, very violent break-up. You know, typical �man finds out his girlfriend�s a man� street fighting. Girl screams, �Why you acting like that�? Boy pushes her away and runs into the street. Girl chases him down. Boy slaps girl. Girl rips off her Lee Press-ons one by one and loses IQ points by the second while she chases his grown ass down the street.

In the end, boy goes one way and Foxxjazell takes off toward Santa Monica Blvd. in search of Pizza and a lift from Eddie Murphy.

These days, it seems, John McCain will take any endorsement he can get. Ben Affleck backs Barack Obama? McCain gets Angie Harmon. Barbra Streisand goes for Hillary Clinton, and McCain gets� Heidi Montag?

Yes, in between rolling around on the beaches of Malibu in a bikini for her BF Spencer�s digicam and whoring herself out to the press for anything passing as news, Heidi has rendered herself something of a political expert, saying she�ll vote for McCain because he has a lot of experience.

Interestingly, for the first time, Heidi seemed to have a clear idea of just how fleeting her 15 minutes is likely to be – �I don�t think anyone cares who Heidi Montag is voting for,� she added.

The press seems to: When asked how he feels about the support of one of Hollywood�s most recognized 20-somethings, McCain responded: "I'm honored to have Heidi's support and I want to assure her that I never miss an episode of The Hills, especially since the new season started."

He follows that up with back-to-back episodes of My Super Sweet Sixteen while wife Cindy goes out to the garage, pops a half dozen Ambien and turns the car on.

And just because we haven�t heard from Bobby Brown in a while, someone, somewhere actually paid this mess money to write a tell all – and he�s claiming that the only reason he even married Whitney was because the press was closing in on evidence she�d been sleeping with her former assistant, Robyn Crawford.

True, rumors were going around for a while – but is that any reason to stay with someone 14 years?

According to Bobby, Whitney got him hooked on drugs, not the other way around – and he cheated on her because she was such a mess to live with.

A mess who paid the mortgage, don�t forget. And even if Whitney is the one who got them both into drugs, why you gotta call her out in a tell all?

She�s clean now – or at least she seems to be.

For her part, Whitney says she�s not going to comment for the sake of her child.

Good move, Whit. Now if only you could get YouTube to take down all those clips from Being Bobby Brown.

And that, folks, is that.

Until next time, remember� take time to stop and smell the gossip. – Issued by Gay Link Content


  • Ross von Metzke is the Entertainment Editor of Gay Web Monkey and GayWired.com. The former Editor in Chief of Xodus Magazine, his work has appeared in YM, Performing Arts, The San Diego Union Tribune, Entertainment Weekly, Instinct and Link. Ross lives in Los Angeles.


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