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Gossip So Good, It's Got To Be Gay

Ross von Metzke | December 18, 2007

A new hottie on the loose

There�s a new hottie on the loose, a star from the American TV series, Gossip Girl.

He�s been compared to Zac Efron – minus the girlie side – swept bangs.

For a hot minute, he was linked to Carrie Underwood – and we�re not quite sure whether that�s still going strong or not.

But for those of you who got caught up in the spell of hottie Chace Crawford, have we got a treat for you. A never before seen photo shoot – well, never before seen until it popped up on every gay site known to man this week.

Granted, the poses are a bit cheesy – they were probably done for some teen girl mag – but there�s no denying this guy�s got the goods. I can�t imagine a single one of you kicking his ass out of bed.

Unless it was in the heat of the moment.

Granted, it�s not a deposition in a court of law (a la Wednesday�s predictably AWOL Britney Spears), but being a no show for a Broadway production carries its fair share of consequences. And when you�re American Idol winner Fantasia Barrino and you�ve saved The Color Purple from ending its run as a financial failure by garnering rave reviews, you�d better damn well show up to the theatre.

She didn�t. Since beginning her run earlier this year, Fantasia didn�t show up to the theatre – at least 50 times.

So what was Fantastia busy doing? According to reports, being sick which, of course, is the same excuse Britney Spears used for not turning up in court. The difference is, no one snapped Fantasia doing shots of Petron just 24 hours before she placed her call.

In this case, folks who work on the show say Fantasia�s vocal training just isn�t up to the demands of an �8 shows a week� Broadway schedule.

So take it on the road, girl. Have them do your schedule up Mariah style – one day on, 3 days to heal from whatever the fuck you did to your voice in the closing moments of �Vision of Love�.

Whatever the solution, she�d better figure something out quick. Everytime Fantasia calls in sick, ticket-holders are given the option to demand a refund� and you know big �O�-prah ain�t gonna like that. I think that policy started when folks showed up to see Carol Burnett in Putting It Together and got Kathie Lee Gifford instead.

Um, I�d demand a court marshall� not just a refund.

For those of you interested in who the porn community is supporting in the big for the next president of the United States, look no further than Ass Angels and Open Wide and Say Ahhh star Tera Patrick.

Tera�s a politico, y�all – and she has a hankering for Hillary Clinton.

Why? TMZ.com caught up with the big boobed babe while walking with her hubby Evan into Los Angeles hot spot S Bar, and she graciously offered up two reasons.

The predictable �because she�s a woman� and the unexpected we�ve �heard Hillary loves porn�.

And what kind of porn is that, Tera? Straight porn, gay porn, girl on girl, late night Cinemax?

Tera wouldn�t say, and while I wouldn�t count on this revelation to kill Hillary�s reputation, I would wager to guess that Hillary�s alleged obsession with adult entertainment began when Bill started slipping off to stick it to the intern.

I�d watch porn if my hubby were steppin� out – wouldn�t you?

Just weeks into their world tour and already, one of the Spice Girls is battling injury.

Baby Spice (aka Emma Bunton) was photographed boarding a jet with Ginger and Sporty, propped up by a pair of crutches. Did she fall off the stage? Get pelted by autograph demands? Did Britney Spears run over her foot?

No one�s talking – though DListed.com predicts her gimp foot has something to do with Posh.

Now why would Victoria Beckham want to hurt Baby? They�re supposed to be bandmates, homegirls. Their children play together, for goodness sakes.

Hmmm� maybe she caught Baby sneaking off to a corner to drool over this!

Yes folks, that�s David Beckham wearing nothing but his Armani tighty whiteys.

Some suggest they�re stuffed.

Say it isn't so...

They may be, but I�d wager to guess that�s jealousy talking more than anything. I mean, really – stuffed or not, how many guys can honestly say they look that good in underwear. I might – if the lights were off, my date were senile and had a couple of Whiskey Sours in.

Try not to mess up your computer screens, fellas. I�ll leave you to drool.

And just because he�d like to clarify a few things – things he apparently couldn�t set straight in his recent autobiography – Lance Bass opened up to The Advocate for their thousandth issue and spoke out about what the process of coming out was like for him.

Leave it to Perez Hilton to put in his two cents.

Lance starts with memories of being gay and in a boyband: �I was always watching what I said, what I did, [�] You would learn so many things throughout the years, like, gay people do this and gay people say this. I remember one time someone told me that if you say the word so a lot, that�s a sign that you�re gay. I was so afraid to say the word in anything I did! That�s how crazy things got for me.�

He moves on to talk about Reichen: �I was finally in a relationship I was proud of, [�] I was very much in love, and when you�re in love, you don�t care what people think. [�] I saw how half the [gay] people hated Reichen�s guts – they didn�t just dislike him, they hated him – and then the other half just loved him, [�] I never could understand that.�

And then, of course, a few words from Perez: �That People Magazine article was hilarious, [�] �If Lance Bass is a straight-acting gay, then I eat pussy for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.�

Bon appetit.

And that�s all we�ve got for today, folks. Remember – take the time to stop and smell the gossip – Gay Link Content

  • Ross von Metzke is the Entertainment Editor of Gay Web Monkey and GayWired.com. The former Editor in Chief of Xodus Magazine, his work has appeared in YM, Performing Arts, The San Diego Union Tribune, Entertainment Weekly, Instinct and Link. Ross lives in Los Angeles.

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