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Gossip So Good, It's Got To Be Gay

Ross von Metzke | October 29, 2007

There�s good news and there�s bad news!

Well folks – there�s good news and there�s bad news!

Good news is that Brokeback Mountain is still the highest grossing gay movie of all time.

Bad news is that in the two years since that flick raked in $175 million at the box office, the only film which has threatened to take its crown is a movie about two firefighters who reluctantly play gay for benefits. Yeah – I wasn�t too keen on seeing Adam Sandler and Kevin James swap spit either.

So what happened? Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger both scored Oscar nominations for their role in the gay, epic love story. You�d think others in Hollywood might be keen to jump on the wagon. And yet nothing.

A killer new article in this week�s Entertainment Weekly suggests that while movie going audiences are undoubtedly ready to see same-sex stories told on screen, film executives (who, as the article suggests, tend to be stuck in an old way of thinking) are not. Brokeback screenwriter Diana Ossana said that when Brokeback was vying for the best picture statue, she was told of Academy voters who refused to see the flick solely based on its content. How unbiased of them!

So Crash takes home the prize, Ledger, Gyllenhaal and Michelle Williams all see their Hollywood stock go up and vaults filled with gay scripts everywhere stay locked! WTF? While TV brings us Ugly Betty, The Wire, Brothers & Sisters, nip/tuck and The Tudors, the big studios give us I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry! Lame!

It�s not all terrible news. If things go according to plan, Gus Van Zant will step behind the cameras in January to direct Sean Penn in Milk, the story of �Mayor of Castro Street� Harvey Milk, who worked wonders in securing rights for San Francisco�s gay residents in the '70s. From a script by Big Love scribe Dustin Lance Black, Matt Damon will play Milk�s assassin and, assuming the project�s on schedule, will beat a proposed Bryan Singer project to production.

Also on tap is the Brad Pitt project Dallas Buyer's Club in which the actor would fulfill many a gay man's wish and play for our team, albeit as a gay man dying of AIDS in the �80s who supplies pharmaceuticals not approved for use in the U.S. to fellow patients.

It�s bleak, but it�s something – let�s just hope Hollywood gets its head out of its ass one of these days!

In other gay news, can you believe Terry McMillan is still talking to anyone who will listen about how she was screwed over and dicked around by that gay Jamaican husband she claims used her for a green card? I mean, for Christ sake, they�ve been splitsville for more than two years now – you�d think she�d have moved on.

She hasn�t, and though she�s called him a faggot on live television, attempted to convince the world that his being gay was nothing more than an out to their sham of a marriage and pleaded with Oprah (albeit after admitting that the two had shared a bubble bath following their separation) to help her show Jonathan Plummer for the for the fake he is, now she claims she�s spewing hate to protect gay men everywhere.

Say what?

Here�s a bit of an excerpt so you can see where Terry�s coming from today.

�I�ve done more and shown more support for the gay community over the years than Jonathan will ever do. What is it he�s doing besides getting a tell-all book published to draw attention to himself with the hopes of making money and once again all by pimping my fame? What has he done? Nothing. The gay men and women who are still suffering in Jamaica have not benefited one iota because of him. Quite the contrary. He gives gay men a bad rep as far as I can see.�

Alright Terry – if you call threatening to kill the faggot via voice mail a charitable contribution to the gay community, go ahead and mark that off your list of things to do for others come 2008.

At least she�s not in jail – more than we can say for Foxy Brown who, like Lil� Kim before her, plans to release a new album while she�s behind bars.

Foxy is currently serving a year behind bars at Riker�s prison for violating probation surrounding a 2003 assault charge. And while, at the time, Foxy issued a statement, saying, �I made my bed and I have no problem lying in it�, she lost said bed less than a month later when she got tossed in solitary confinement following a dispute with a fellow inmate.

What�s that mean? Her own cell with no window, an hour�s time outside of her room each day and absolutely no interaction with other inmates for at least two months.

Spend that time writing apology cards to every bitch you�ve fucked over, Foxy. Maybe by the time they let you out, you�ll realized you passed Naomi in the �people I�ve managed to piss off� department.

At least Topenga from Boy Meets World isn�t mad – well, at least not at Lance Bass (she may be mad about her career).

Danielle Fishel dropped by The Tyra Banks Show this week to talk about her relationship with Lance pre cover of People Magazine. They went to prom together, made out with each other, he took her to a Celine Dion concert and bought her a Skipper doll on one of �NSync�s world tours.

Yeah, she was totally snowed.

But at least he didn�t take her virginity. She claims she was ready to give it up, but because he was leaving the following day on tour, he didn�t want to leave her alone on what should be the most special day of her life.

Awww – that�s so sweet.

Nevermind the fact that he probably just couldn�t get it up.

Later in the show, Tyra had to prove she�s a hot piece of ass by asking if Lance had ever had a crush on her – then insisting the two kiss to see if there were any sparks.

My TV blew a fuse, I know that for sure. Here�s a look at the cheeseball mess!

For those of you still wondering about Marie Osmond, she�s fine. No uppers or downers to blame, folks, just these nasty So Cal fires that have everyone ruffled. I must admit, I�m coughing a bit just sitting at my desk, I can only imagine how I�d feel if I were trying to samba.

Still, glad as I am that Marie�s OK, I could watch that video of her passing out on Dancing with the Stars over and over again!

In fact, how bout now?

And for those of you still holding out hope for Christina Aguilera�s big announcement about her baby, now comes word she�s actually carrying twins. Don�t expect confirmation though. She�s still contented with the world thinking she�s about six months gassy!

I gotta say though – good for Christina keeping things on the downlow. Maybe if Britney had stayed out of the public eye a bit she wouldn�t be attending mandatory parenting classes in Beverly Hills with her ex once a week.

And that, my friends, is all the dirt we�ve got for you this week. Join us next time, and until then, remember – take the time to stop and smell the gossip! – Gay Link Content

  • Ross von Metzke is the Entertainment Editor of Gay Web Monkey and GayWired.com. The former Editor in Chief of Xodus Magazine, his work has appeared in YM, Performing Arts, The San Diego Union Tribune, Entertainment Weekly, Instinct and Link. Ross lives in Los Angeles.

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