This week in the world of lesbian gossip
Tracy E. Gilchrist | June 08, 2007
Hollywood�s bad girls continue to dominate headlines
Did sassy Sarah Silverman embarrass Paris Hilton into surrendering herself to the pokey two days early? I know – Embarrass Paris? – Impossible. Hollywood�s bad girls continue to dominate headlines like they�re real news while a handful of celebs continue to actually make art – or some derivative of art.
And serendipitously coinciding with traditional Pride month, is the Tony Awards – an awards show so gay it makes the GLAAD Media Awards look like the Boston Bruins� post-game shower room. Just because it�s Pride in LA this weekend, I�m channeling my best gay man and taking in the Essential Barbra Streisand (Disc 2) as I write. Yeah, I�m �Guilty."
The most smokin� stand-up comedian and the juiciest Jewish girl on the planet Sarah Silverman hosted Sunday�s MTV Movie Awards. Suddenly this event became the place to be seen. Jack Nicholson, sporting his trademark dirty old man shades, reclined in his seat and interacted with Sarah as if he were in his usual front seat at the Oscars.
In her opening monologue, Sarah skewered pretty Paris, who took it like a champ – but then if you heard Sarah�s barbs about Paris� cell getting a makeover with the bars painted like penises and also had the pleasure of viewing the infamous sex tape – Paris clearly takes it like a champ.
The incarcerated heiress smiled graciously at Silverman. But it was so not a fair fight� Sarah�s acid-tongue versus Princess P�s simple mind. Whether it was Sarah�s public skewering or not, Paris ditched the event early and surrendered herself to prison with nary a last supper of Pinkberry frozen yogurt or a trip to Teddy�s nightclub. For a girl about to get cozy with Bertha the prison guard, Paris looked darn sexy in her mug shot.
That Sarah�s such a girl-parts tease. She enlisted buff Jessica Biel to taunt the lesbians – and the straight men. As Sarah waxed political about how she refused to resort to a gimmick ala the infamous Madonna kissing Britney trick, for ratings, the ripped Biel feigned support for Sarah. Their mouths grew ever closer to within a centimeter of kissing – and wham, cut to the awards. So hot� so mean.
Remember The View when it was fun and contentious? Now it�s four women sitting around discussing their nails. Yes it�s still on but whose watching now that the fat – or in this case, chubby�lady sang her departing aria. Rosie doesn�t go down for long – well, only Kelli knows for sure. Ro announced she�s releasing a tell-all entitled Celebrity Detox this fall. It chronicles what she calls an �interesting year,� including battling the blowhard billionaire Trump and hot piece of Republican tail, Lissy Hasselbeck.
This Sunday amounts to what surely must be Ro�s high holy day of the year – the Tony�s – when the truly talented glitterati gather to honor their own. On hand to present the awards is het defector or lesbian convert – depending on perception – Cynthia Nixon, home wrecker who�ll always be Angela Chase to me, Claire Danes, raven-haired cutie pie Carla Gugino. 30 Rock�s Jane Krakowski, actress extraordinaire Marcia Gay Harden and Ugly Betty�s bitch Diva fashion plate Vanessa Williams.
Look for a throw down in the Best Actress in a play category between the iconic Vanessa Redgrave for her tour-de-force in The Year of Magical Thinking as writer Joan Didion, theater queen Angela Lansbury in Deuce and quirky fave Swoosie Kurtz – who played it gay in the beautifully twisted Citizen Ruth – in Heartbreak House.
American Idol alumna Fantasia�s slated to represent with a showstopper from the Sapphic-themed The Color Purple. Oh yeah and there�ll be some cute boys on hand too, including as presenters, perennial man child Matthew Broderick and the hot-assed Harry Connick Jr. Let�s hope that freshly – and finally – out David Hyde Pierce, nominated for Best Actor in a Musical for Curtains, wins so that he can make out with his man-friend of nearly 20 years before he accepts.
A decade ago, Ashley Judd sadly did not �Kiss the Girls� but now she plays bi in the psychological horror film Bug – but don�t expect a big Judd girl on girl sex scene – based on the play by Tracy Letts and directed by The Exorcist�s William Freidkin. I�ve yet to see Bug but something tells me that Freidkin doesn�t have classy Ashley defiling herself with a cross and spewing green vomit.
Our beloved VP Dickh**d Cheney and his uptight wife Lynn, posed for pics with their new grandson Samuel David Cheney, the lovechild of lesbo daughter Mary and her partner Heather Poe. It�s a good thing the kids parents are obscenely, filthy rich so that little Sammy never has to worry about equality because his mommies can�t marry and are forced to live in sin by Grandpa Dick.
It�s a sad day for Sci-fi fans now that Battlestar Gallactica�s upcoming season will be it�s last. But never fear, Heroes is gaining a lesbian cheerleader named April. It�s rumored she�s playing the role of Paris� cellmate first but she�ll be ready to shoot by the end of June – kidding.
Didn�t mom always say why would you want to be a member of any club that doesn�t want you for a member? Internet love troller Linda Carlson is suing eHarmony.com for rejecting her based on their refusal to find her a nice girl to marry. Sure it�s discrimination but suing and announcing to the world that you�re looking for love on the Web just to fight for some intangible notion like fairness and equal rights� is it worth explaining that you�re desperate? Sorry� I still believe in falling in love the old-fashioned way, face-to-face, making out drunk in a club.
After about a decade of speculation about who'll star in the remake of the 1939, rapid-fire dialogue comedy written by Clare Booth Luce and directed by George Cukor, The Women, producers have announced the new cast and my response is huh? Stepping into the mighty big shoes of Joan Crawford, Norma Shearer, Rosalind Russell and Joan Fontaine, is Meg Ryan, Annette Bening, Eva Mendes, Jada Pinkett Smith, Debra Messing and Candace Bergin. I don�t even want to see them make out. That can�t be good.
Ahhh, and , just when you thought she was all about being mommy, Empress Angie of the Holy Order of Pornographically Hot Lips speaks out about sex with Big Brad and bares all in the latest issue of Esquire. Halleluiah – Gay Link Content
Mothers I'd Like to Find