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Hollywood Celebrity Buzz

Gossip So Good, It's Got To Be Gay

Ross von Metzke | December 04, 2006

Britney Spears tries to outdo Lindsay Lohan

We�ve seen Lindsay�s! Paris�! Pink put on panties, but Cameron Diaz came dangerously close. But for the past week and a half, it�s been the suddenly single Britney Spears� cooter that�s getting the attention of every camera lens in Tinseltown, and for a woman who claims to be seeking full custody of her children, we�ve gotta say�in the infinite wisdom of Mrs. Donna Summer, �enough is enough.� Panty police aside – and I have to say, I�m going to be conducting a thorough investigation to see if Victoria�s Secret, Agent Provocateur (even Target�s Hanes rack) have been pillaged or something – recent photos of a stumbling drunk Britney closing down clubs with Paris, stumbling around the streets of West Hollywood after having her glass of Pinot in one hand and a fag in the other confiscated (a ciggie, mind you, not some gushing club kid she picked up at The Factory), attempting to start her car as paparazzi snap photos of an obviously sloshed Britney about to nod off � not doing much for her custody case.

Especially since K-Fed, of all people. Seems to have cleaned up his act. He�s looking, in a word, hot! Now I�ve never been under the assumption that Britney�s some good girl who sits home nights and warbles through Mary Had a Little Lamb to the kiddies while Kevin goes out, knocks back a couple bottles of Cuervo and gets unsuspecting Hollywood starlets knocked up. But I certainly didn�t expect her to ditch her lingerie drawer, hit up Roberta Flack for some left over hair weaves and hit the town in search of some dick the minute her man moved out.

And it�s not just affecting her future with her kids. Apparently, Britney was supposed to be in Miami a few days ago laying down tracks with producer Pharrell Williams for her forthcoming CD. But Britney was a no show, blaming her son Sean Preston�s ear infection for her being unable to travel. I don�t know about you, but I remember when I had ear infections as a kid, my mom made me chicken soup and curled up on the couch with me to watch the Disney Channel or read a book. She didn�t throw on a denim mini and do the bar crawl with heiress row.

BTW – is anyone else itching for the inevitable Shar Jackson interview? I can�t imagine it being more than a week or so before one of these tabloids get her to sit down for a one on one – and depending on how many times Brit waited curbside while Shar loaded up the diaper bag for Fed�s other kids, me thinks she�s going to have a mouthful to spill.

Mel Gibson offers his support to Michael Richards

On to another hot Hollywood mess. Mel Gibson, who apparently hasn�t learned the lesson that sometimes it�s best to just shut your trap and lay low for a while, is offering a shoulder to cry on and some sage advice to Michael Richards.

Richards, who, as we all know by now, went off on a racist tirade at the Laugh Factory last week, has been running the apology circuit, trying to explain away his outburst as pent up anger and unresolved issues inside he obviously needs to resolve. Um, yeah, no shit Michael.

Anyway, so African-American community (and anyone with a conscience, basically) has virtually turned their backs on Michael, when along comes Mel to offer these pearls of wisdom. "I felt like sending Michael Richards a note," Gibson told Entertainment Weekly in an interview with the magazine appearing in the December 8 edition. "I feel really badly for the guy. He was obviously in a state of stress. You don't need to be inebriated to be bent out of shape. But my heart went out to the guy � They'll probably torture him for a while and then let him go. I like him."

That�s nice Mel – birds of a feather stick together. But I have to say – I don�t think it�s torture to demand a fitting apology from a man who spent the better part of a minute and a half berating his audience and spouting the word n****r like he was absent the day the majority of America retired the words from every day vocabulary.

My one regret is that for all the shit the Black community is giving Richards (and he deserves every last word of it, don�t get me wrong), the Jewish community seems to have basically let Mel off the hook and we�ve not heard a peep out of the gay community for Isaiah Washington�s outburst on the set of Grey�s Anatomy. Discrimination in any form should not be tolerated, and I for one will no longer support any project these three actors are involved with.

50 Cent and Oprah

So, I guess that means we can lump 50 Cent in with these guys. His latest complaint is that Oprah Winfrey has become a middle aged white woman.

50 has alleged time and time again that Oprah refuses to have rappers on her show – she�ll have rapists, he says, �but wont have a rags to riches story on her show.�

The result, 50 says, is the misconception that she�s � a Black woman � she�s been catering to the middle-aged White woman for son long that I believe she�s a middle-aged White woman.

To add insult to injury, 50 couldn�t let Oprah be the only one to feel his wrath. He brought Kanye West in on the action. Kanye, who�s been on the show on many occasions, plays to a decidedly more mainstream rap audience – which 50 equates with his being gay.

�I think middle America would rather have they kids be gay than have them aggressive,� 50 says with regard to his appearances.

Wishful thinking – cuz I know I�d sure rather see a 13-year-old pouring through the pages of Harper�s Bazaar while jamming to the latest from Xtina and JoJo than loading his Magnum and taking to the streets. You�re on to something, 50 – spread the word.

Hottie of the Week

I don�t know about you folks, but I�ve had enough of the drama, and I�m more in the mood for something with washboard abs. I�m in luck, because no hunk has been working more in recent months than supermodel Chad White.

He�s got Mischa Barton�s foot all over his bod in those new Bebe ads. He did a 50 page spread in the latest issue of L�Uomo Vogue, which you can see here on Towle Road.

And runway shows, well � they continue to love him. If you like your men buff, shaved head with the look of the boy next door you always wanted to kick it under the bleachers with, you�re in luck. Digest this!

Alrighty folks – I�ve said my peace. Here�s hoping your week is filled with a lot less drama than these folks, and until next time, remember – stop and smell the gossip.

  • Ross von Metzke is the Entertainment Editor of Gay Web Monkey and GayWired.com. The former Editor in Chief of Xodus Magazine, his work has appeared in YM, Performing Arts, The San Diego Union Tribune, Entertainment Weekly, Instinct and Link. Ross lives in Los Angeles.

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