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Hollywood Celebrity Buzz

Ross von Metzke | November 06, 2006

Who knew �Shut the Fuck Up� had the power to become a gay mantra?

But ever since Barbra Streisand shouted down a heckler with this now infamous catch phrase at her Madison Square Garden concert after he bagged on her for ragging on the president, Babs has become (gasp) hip? You Tubes, political blogs, even a dance mix of her public outburst. I hate Bush as much as the next person, but who knew how infamous you could become for it.

And now, it seems, concert goers attend a Streisand show almost looking to pick a fight. Just a week later at another stop on her tour, Streisand was pelted with a cup of ice by one enraged fan. The singer was a bit more polite this time, but still pleaded with the fan: If you want to hear my songs, buy my albums and stay at home.� Another pissed off fan shouted at her and both were escorted from the theatre.

Talk about your gay drama.

As a FOB (Friend of Barbra), I want to know how all of these fan outbursts are affecting Babs� fear of the stage. I mean, cracking and missing the money note is one thing� having someone pelt you with ice is quite another.

And to the fans who keep getting pissed off right and left, this is a fucking Barbra Streisand concert. You want leftist psycho babble? Pull up a chair with the Simpson clan and watch Papa Joe wax poetic on his daughter Jessica�s tits and why she plans to vote for whomever mommy and daddy do.

Ryan Phillippe is officially on the market

Alright, on to some good news – Ryan Phillippe is back on the market. I know, I know, I could hardly believe it either. OK, so you gas up the car, I�m gonna run inside and spray my self bronzer on and we�ll drive over to Brentwood to see if Reese has packed her shit and hit the road yet!

Evil, aren�t I? OK, time to be diplomatic. Yes, of course I�m sad Ryan and Reese are going their separate ways after 7 years of marriage. Honest to God, I thought theirs might just the be marriage that lasted. I mean, think back to how genuinely thrilled he was for her when she won that Golden Globe – OK, perhaps that was more like genuinely sloshed, but still, he did it with love.

But now, after nearly a year of rumors suggesting the young couple was on the skids, they�ve announced they�re going their separate ways. They tried therapy, as Reese confessed on Oprah, chalking it up to a marital tune up. Ryan tried burying himself in work – he�s shot no fewer than four flicks since Crash wrapped a year and a half ago and is currently starring in Flags of Our Fathers, the latest from director Clint Eastwood. And, if tabloids are to be believed, they even tried taking a break.

I mean, if you want to get right down to it, the writing was on the wall. What�s the first thing a gay man does when he�s about ready to leave his boyfriend for the single life? He gets a gym membership, and I�ve seen more pics of Ryan working out in Santa Monica without his shirt on in the last year than I can fit on my hard drive – believe me, I tried.

There�s pics of Reese running too – although with an Academy Award and $20 million film offers pouring in right and left, something tells me she doesn�t have to try as hard.

So fellas – if Ryan�s your type of guy, catch him now while he�s on the rebound. And ladies, Reese ain�t no slouch herself.

And, in all seriousness, it is sad to see this super couple split up. For once it would be nice to see one Hollywood couple actually make it.

Someone in Hollywood took pity on Tom Cruise

Speaking of a couple with no chance in hell of making it (oh shit, did I say that?), Tom Cruise is going to be a busy man in the days leading up to his wedding with Katie Holmes. He went from being thrown out on his ass by one of the biggest studios in Hollywood to being handed his own studio by one of the biggest studios in Hollywood.

Originally founded in the 20�s by silent film stars Charlie Chaplin and Mary Pickford, United Artists (thought in recent months to be officially defunct) will rise again under the direction of Cruise and producing partner Paula Wagner under MGM studios.

What this means for Mission Impossible IV, I couldn�t tell you, but it does bode well for someone in Hollywood hiring Katie Holmes to work again after that pitiful turn in Batman Begins. OK, now, I�m just being mean – she wasn�t actually that bad in Batman, I just want her to be, because that means I�d have a reason beyond stupidity for hating her.

But, being serious again (and just for a second), the fact that someone in Hollywood wants to work with Cruise again doesn�t surprise me. It�s a money town and, love him or hate him, he�s still making tons of it for people. And while his comments to Brooke Shields are deplorable (the fact that Brooke and Katie have inexplicably become friends astounds me, but I digress), they�re not near so as insulting to the folks who run Hollywood as Mel Gibson�s Jew attack, which is why Tom gets a studio and Mel gets a half assed theatrical release for his mega budget flick Apocalypto.

Hottie of the Week

And as if it would be any surprise to you who our hottie of the week is, allow me to say it again – Ryan Phillippe is a free man. And if you�re curious just what makes Ryan such a catch, might I suggest a trip to your local video store for the following releases: 54, because he�s shirtless, ripped and wears short shorts;

Cruel Intentions because, sex scene with Reese notwithstanding, his ass is impeccable; I Know What You Did Last Summer for the shower scene; The Way of the Gun because good boys gone bad are uber hot; and Gosford Park because there�s something about a blonde in a tux.

Now that you�re hot and bothered, I leave you to yourselves – remember, until next time; stop and smell the gossip.

  • Ross von Metzke is the Entertainment Editor of Gay Web Monkey and GayWired.com. The former Editor in Chief of Xodus Magazine, his work has appeared in YM, Performing Arts, The San Diego Union Tribune, Entertainment Weekly, Instinct and Link. Ross lives in Los Angeles.

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