Hollywood Celebrity Buzz
Ross von Metzke | October 02, 2006
A Saved by the Bell sex tape
Growing up watching Saved by the Bell, I remember hoping� praying even� that at some point Zach Morris (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) or AC Slater (Mario Lopez) might drop their pants in the shower or knock back a bit too much tequila and go for a romp on the beach.
No such luck (though fans of nip/tuck got to see Lopez�s ass in a shower scene – Gods be praised). Instead, we got Elizabeth Berkeley making a total ass out of herself showing her boobies and cooter in Showgirls (sure, it�s good campy fun, but still something I didn�t need to see.
Something I needed to see even less – Screech (Dustin Diamond) in a sex tape, and he�s not getting it on with Lisa Turtle.
The one time Saturday morning comic relief (who ended up playing Screech for 11 flippin� years – he continued on with the roll in Saved by the Bell: The College Years and Saved by the Bell: The New Class) hit what we thought was rock bottom earlier this year when he recruited fans to donate money through a Web site to save his home (lord only knows what he�s done with his Screech money, but apparently it didn�t go toward a mortgage).
But that was high class compared with the latest news that Diamond has been caught on tape having sex with two ladies, doing what is known as the Dirty Sanchez (which, if you don�t know what it means, you�re lucky, but I will say it is disgusting). The sickest part is that an agent has allegedly acquired the rights to the tape and is looking for a company to market Saved by the Smell.
�Just when you think you have seen everything in this business, mankind has raised the bar another notch; or lowered it,� agent David Hans Schmidt told New York�s Daily News.
Apparently, Diamond�s agent is even hoping the tape lights a fire under Diamond�s dwindling career.
In a Jackass sort of way, I can kind of see it. But if anyone�s hoping to score Diamond a legit acting career, just look at the offers that have been pouring in for Shannen Doherty�s ex Rick Salomon since the release of his fuck fest with Paris Hilton. Of course, that one didn�t involve anyone taking a crap, but something tells me this one�s going to play out the same.
Advice to Dustin. Take the cash and spend it on something other than hoez.
Naomi Campbell is facing time behind bars
Another celebrity (this one actually still famous) is facing a serious public relations nightmare: A warrant has been issued for Naomi Campbell's arrest.
A judge ordered the supermodel to be taken into custody after she failed to appear in court on Wednesday on charges of attacking her housekeeper. You remember that story, right? This is the housekeeper Campbell allegedly threw a cell phone at, not the one she allegedly beat up; and not the one she allegedly abandoned in Africa with no passport.
Adjourning the case, Judge James Gibbons of the Manhattan Criminal Court warned Campbell's lawyer David Breitbart: "She is absolutely obligated to appear at the next court date or the law will go into effect. A bench warrant will be issued."
Campbell�s lawyer tried to explain the model�s no show, saying she was trying to avoid the cameramen who have been following her since this case came to light. The judge wasn�t moved, saying �they have a right to be (outside the courthouse)�
If found guilty, Naomi could face up to seven years in jail, and that doesn�t even take into consideration the countless number of other assault cases that are pending. I mean, Naomi does a fierce catwalk, but this whole beating up the help thing has got to stop. I�m starting to see why Tyra Banks carried such a grudge against this bitch for all those years (although I still think it�s hot that Naomi could care so little for Tyra, she doesn�t even remember their run in). Now that�s a supermodel of the world.
Now on to some sad news.
We now know what killed Anna Nicole Smith's son
Though the toxicology reports are still not in, a pathologist hired by Anna Nicole Smith to determine the cause of 20-year-old son Daniel�s death has determined drugs were involved.
And we�re not talking about your typical Friday night in Weho cocktail.
According to pathologist Cyril Wecht, Daniel Smith was on some serious meds�anti-depressants Zoloft and Lexapro were found in his system, in addition to methadone, which is typically used to combat Heroin addiction. Wecht was quick to clarify that this in no way indicated Daniel Smith had any sort of addiction to Heroin, but that the drugs in his system combined caused the cardiac dysrhythmia that led to Daniel's death.
The toxicology results were conducted by National Medical Services in Willow Grove, Pennsylvania and released on Wednesday.
The announcement followed another bomb dropped from Anna Nicole�s camp�earlier this week, the model�s lawyer, Howard K. Stern (who was frequently featured on The Anna Nicole Show on E!) told Larry King that he was the father of Anna Nicole�s baby... then the two got married.
The announcement wouldn�t have been such a big deal, but photographer/Anna�s ex Larry Birkhead has been telling people on his Web site for weeks that he�s the baby�s daddy, and following Stern�s announcement, posted a cryptic message on his site essentially calling Stern a liar.
Daniel died in his mother's hospital room September 10, while visiting her in the Bahamas three days after she gave birth to a baby girl originally named Danilynne Hope, but that we now learn has been renamed Dannielynne Hope. Now word yet on Smith or Stern�s reaction to the news, but we do know both were in the room with Daniel when he passed away.
Cynthia Nixon lets us in on the letdown of becoming a lesbian
And finally, some news for you lesbians (and gay men too, since we all know how much you love a Sex and the City reference). Cynthia Nixon, who has two children with former partner Danny Mozes, now says that coming out and starting a relationship with new love Christine Marinoni two years ago proved anti-climactic.
Nixon explained to New York Magazine: "I never felt like there was an unconscious part of me that woke up or that came out of the closet. There wasn't a struggle, there wasn't an attempt to suppress. I met this woman, I fell in love with her and I'm a public figure."
But Nixon said the struggle came with the amount of attention the relationship garnered.
"I feel like there was an enormous temperature spike. There were paparazzi outside my house. My girlfriend had the English press on her parents' lawn. Every person she went to high school with got a phone call. They almost put me on the cover of People magazine. And then it died, because there wasn't really anything to say."
Nixon attributes the die down in attention to her relationship to her lack of interest in the matter. Adopting the age old mantra that if you ignore people, they�ll grow tired of you and move on, Nixon kept famously quiet in the press and only now is she starting to talk about her relationship publicly.
Nixon won the 2006 Tony Award for her work as a mother suffering the accidental death of her child in Rabbit Hole. At the awards ceremony, she kissed and thanked Marinoni on live television. It was the second year in a row an out actress won the Tony. In 2005, Cherry Jones won for Doubt, thanking and kissing girlfriend, Studio 60 On the Sunset Strip star Sarah Paulson.
Hottie of the Week
Now on to another TV show: Anyone who�s been watching Kyle XY on ABC�s Family Channel knows why there�s so much to love about Matt Dallas. But it�s the fact that he looks the most likely celebrity to follow in Lance Bass� footsteps and come out of the closet that makes him extra yummy.
Why do we say Matt�s gay? Well just like Lance kicked it with Kathy Griffin and her gays and partied it up in Ptown with Reichen minutes before coming out, Matt�s doing the American Idol circuit with Paula Abdul and conversing with Clay Aiken. Lance may have better taste, but Matt�s gorgeous all the same.
And that about wraps it up for this week on the buzz. Until next time, remember; stop and smell the gossip.
Ross von Metzke is the Editor in Chief of Xodus Magazine and a featured columnist for GayWired.com. His work has appeared in YM, Performing Arts, The San Diego Union Tribune, Entertainment Weekly, Instinct and Gay Web Monkey. Ross lives in San Diego.
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