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Ross von Metzke | August 21, 2006

John Mark Karr Man arrested for JonBenet's murder

Sometimes, gossip is predictable. If a fair number of photos have been taken or every columnist from Hollywood to New York and across the pond has �the scoop� on some couple headed for divorce or a druggie just days away from hitting rock bottom, you may not know when the story�s going to break, but you know it�s coming.

And sometimes, gossip comes straight out of left field. As it did this week when 41-year-old John Mark Karr was arrested for and confessed to the 1996 killing of pint sized beauty queen JonBenet Ramsey. Now this is a case most Americans had long ago written off as �unsolved� – at least by those Americans who weren�t convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that one of the parents, or even JonBenet�s brother, had killed her.

So imagine everyone�s surprise when the unthinkable happened – the authorities apprehended Karr in Thailand with absolutely no tip off from the press. No one had a clue. Not that it�s completely unthinkable that US Authorities could investigate this case for ten years without tipping their hand, just impressive.

Of course, Karr hasn�t been pronounced guilty yet. So far, he�s admitting to having been with JonBenet when she died but insists her death was an accident. For the Cliff Notes version of the back-story, Karr was a substitute teacher in Alabama who lived near the Ramseys before they up and moved to Colorado when JonBenet was a baby. Former colleagues and Karr�s ex-wife Lara all testified to John Karr�s questionable behavior around children and Lara Karr claimed her husband had an obsessive fascination with the murders of Jon Benet Ramsey and Polly Klaas, a 12-year-old girl killed in 1993 in California. John Karr lived with his wife and kids in Northern California until 2001 when, after John Karr was held on suspicion of child pornography, he fled after being released from jail.

No word yet on the connection between Karr and the Ramseys, although Karr claims he made several attempts to communicate with Patricia Ramsey before her death last year and says he believes she read his many letters.

Not exactly the sort of gossip you can sink your teeth into and poke fun of, but certainly a huge break in one of the most infamous murders of all time.



Britney's other half gets more money for every kid she pops out

And now on to something a bit lighter we can gnaw on for a while – a gossip columnist has claimed that according to a prenup, Kevin Federline gets more cash for every child Britney Spears has that�s his.

Now hold up! That puts a completely different spin on my theory that Brit just got preggers this time around so she wouldn�t have to lose the weight from her last baby. All this time, I�ve been thinking Britney was hard pressed to shed that last 10 or 15 and, in traditional trailer park fashion, opted to pop out another right away and buy herself a year.

But now, it seems, the possibilities are endless. This could be all Kevin�s doing. I mean this makes baby number four for him, so he�s had his share of practice. There could be diaphragm tampering, one too many tequila shooters and a night of Marvin Gaye. Hell, when you consider that Federline recently told GQ Magazine he�s nearly broke and that he doesn�t accept a dime from his loaded wife because he�s �the man,� this really does appear to be the perfect solution. And with Britney due at the end of the month, just weeks before KFed�s debut album is scheduled to drop, this could be the answer to his prayers – and his creditors.

Of course first, he and Brit would have to call it quits, which might seem suspicious on the heels of what is likely to be such a huge financial disaster. And with Brit claiming she plans to wait a while before popping out another one, Kevin might just have to hang in there before he can cash in.

Now if some of you are reading this wondering why I�m so intent on seeing this relationship fail, I�m not. If Brit and KFed are indeed meant to be, more power to them. I merely call things as I see them, and the fact that Kev and Brit haven�t been spotted in public together in months and that Brit appears to have all the motherly instinct of a pissed off hyena makes me wonder just how happily ever after this arrangement is.



Grace Jones burns spoons and draperies in her London pad

Of course, they have to be happier than Grace Jones. Now there�s a name we haven�t heard in a while. The Bond villain is wanted for allegedly trashing her London apartment and skipping town without paying the rent.

British tabloids made it a point to shine the focus of their story on the damage done to the apartment, particularly to some burnt spoons which they claim appear �blackened from having a flame held under them.� Now if that�s not designed to make Grace sound like a crackhead, I don�t know what is.

Not that we haven�t heard stories of Grace going ape shit before. I mean, this is the woman who slapped a talk show host on live television back in the �80s. But now, the owners of her rumored $70,000 a year flat are claiming she lit drapes on fire, broke a coffee table and had all the locks changed before fleeing the scene of the crime last Spring. And apparently her neighbors, who include Sir Michael Caine and singer Robbie Williams, haven�t a clue where she went.



Lindsay Lohan banned from Justin Timberlake's VIP concert

More entertaining still is word that Lindsay Lohan was refused VIP treatment at a Justin Timberlake concert – by the singer himself.

Yes, rumor has it studio execs aren�t the only one sick to death of Lindsay�s �poor little party girl� routine. Apparently, Justin�s worried Lindsay�s going to show up, drama in tow, and ruin the evening – and his reputation along with it. So he had his management deny her VIP access to his showcase in Los Angeles Saturday night.

According to Britain�s The Sun, a source claimed: �Justin�s concert will be packed with Hollywood A-listers and a lot of important names in the music business. The last thing his label wants is Lindsay getting hammered and making a spectacle of herself. His people reckon any association with people like Lindsay are bad for his image and career.� This comes just two weeks after film producer James G. Robinson, who�s Morgan Creek Productions is behind Georgia Rule, Lohan�s new movie with Jane Fonda, wrote an open letter to Linds (ccing her mom, her agent and her publicist) telling the young star to quit her partying and start acting like a profession, or else.

Lindsay was hauled into the emergency room for �exhaustion� two weeks ago – a LA club owner claimed Lindsay had been in his bar until 2am getting trashed. All I have to say is� you get one shot in life to work with someone like Jane. Jack and coke (of either variety) can wait.



Hottie of the Week

OK, now that we�ve done the trash-talking thing to death, how bout a hottie to stare at? Namely, Chad White. Straight from the pages of L�Uomo Vogue and working the runway for DSquared2, the 21-year-old Portland, OR native is making quite a name for himself in the fashion world.







Of course, with a face like that, how can you blame the Fashion industry? The funny thing is, they almost never had the chance to lay their eyes on Chad. He was drafted straight out of college to play Major League Baseball but injured his hand. Modeling was just a fall back. Fall back indeed. Their loss, our gain.




And there you have it folks, two more reasons I love my job, right above these words. Until next time, remember to stop and smell the gossip.
  • Ross von Metzke is the Editor in Chief of Xodus Magazine and a featured columnist for GayWired.com. His work has appeared in YM, Performing Arts, The San Diego Union Tribune, Entertainment Weekly, Instinct and Gay Web Monkey. Ross lives in San Diego.


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