Shane Cassidy | August 02, 2006
July was quite the month for gossip on all things lesbian. �Promiscuous� singer Nelly Furtado embraced her inner bisexual; Oprah came out to say she is definitely not gay; Bravo gave us a new lesbian goddess to worship in fitness trainer Jackie Warner; HBO�s Deadwood aired some lesbian action – and oh so much more. Will August prove to be another dish-full month? We can only hope so.
Since we�ve been absent with our weekly gossip for a while, and so much lovely dish has happened recently, we thought we recap some of the top goodies from the wires during the past month – to get us off geared up properly for the (hopefully) hot scandals & surprises of August.
Nelly Furtado Believes Everyone is Gay
Portuguese-Canadian singer Nelly Furtado is a big fan of sexual experimentation – in fact, she believes it is an integral �part of human history.� According to the sexy siren known for hit singles like �Promiscuous� and �Maneater�, she thinks Kurt Cobain hit it spot on when he sang �everyone is gay.�
Furtado told the European gay magazine GUS she herself was certainly attracted to women and found them to be �beautiful and sexy.� Furtado said that according to her recent readings on Chinese medicine, everyone is inherently bisexual to balance out their male and female energies, adding that �everyone should have the freedom to experiment.�
Note to Nelly: We certainly welcome a gorgeous sultry singer such as yourself to join us in mass �experimentation� – but considering the title of one of your recent hit singles, we may require the usage of a dental dam.
Oprah Not Gay, So Shut Up Already
Mega talk show host Oprah wants you to know, for once and for all, she is NOT gay. She wants you to know this tidbit of information so badly that she went on the record in her own magazine saying so.
According to the article, although her and best friend Gayle King have a bond that has no �definition in our culture�, they are not lesbian lovers. "If we were gay, we would tell you", said Gayle, "because there's nothing wrong with being gay." Oprah agreed, saying: "People think I'd be so ashamed of being gay that I wouldn't admit it? Oh, please."
However, Oprah & Gayle totally understand why people would think so. After all, she and Gayle have been attached at the hip for 30 years, they talk four times a day, and they are constantly running off on �just the girls� vacations to exotic locations together. But Oprah & Gayle say they do not have any kind of sexual relationship. Wait, you said you are NOT gay, right? Because that sounds exactly like the perfect description of a lesbian LTR to us�
TV�s Hottest New Lesbian Goddess
In July, the unofficial gay TV channel Bravo introduced the world to a steaming hot new lesbian goddess – in the form of Beverly Hills gym owner and fitness trainer Jackie Warner. Warner is the owner of the swank Sky Sport and Spa, and the star of Bravo�s six episode docu-drama Work Out.
The series follows Warner and her hand-picked set of personal trainers as they whip their clients into shape and engage in a whole lot of testosterone and estrogen fueled posturing. While the action on the series is certainly entertaining, it is watching Warner strut around showing off her fabulously hot body that makes the show a must watch for any lesbian who lusts after ladies with muscles you could bounce half-dollars off of.
Not to mention, watching Warner wriggle around the clutches of her jealously hot-blooded Brazilian girlfriend Mimi is far too hilarious to miss. Too bad the series is only six episodes, we could watch Warner pumping iron for years.
HBO�s Deadwood Airs Lesbian Kiss
When the powers-that-be decided that Deadwood should embrace some girl-on-girl action, it was inevitable that one of the culprits would end up being Calamity Jane (played by Robin Weigert).
I mean, how many Old West lesbian-ish icons are there? It was really almost too predicable, but that doesn�t mean it wasn�t sexy! Well, some argue that it is about the least sexy lesbian kiss they've ever seen on screen – but we disagree!
In a recent episode, Jane locked lips with town madam Joanie Stubbs (Kim Dickens). The fact that they kissed wasn�t the best part though – it was Jane�s comment to Joanie as she leaned over her while sponging her down in the bath: "Now I don't want to open my eyes, but you can go ahead and kiss me. If that's what you fuckin' do." That is just hot. We don�t know why it is hot, we can�t explain what makes it hot, but it is just HOT.
Sadly, the show has been canceled, so watch it while you can, because the Old West will once again be history very soon.
And now, to get a fresh start on the dish in August, we have a few tasty treats to share. But before we do, we�d like to point you over to Rosie O�Donnell�s blog for her take on some of the latest gossip in the form of a poem she titles �nip/tuck�.
Why? Because it�s amazing how much scandal Rosie can pack into one poem. Plus, Rosie�s poetry is really, really entertaining to read after a few strong drinks. (Warning, if you don�t drink before reading Rosie�s poetry, you will most certainly need to afterwards.)
Kristanna Loken Joins The L Word
Yet another Hollywood babe has jumped on board the L Word train to lesbian land. This time it is BloodRayne star and former Pink lust object Kristanna Loken – who came out as bisexual earlier this year. Rumor has it that Loken�s character may be a love interest for Shane (Katherine Moenning), now that her hot Latina ex-girlfriend Carmen is out of the picture.
According to AfterEllen.com, Loken will appear in 10 episodes of the show.
Oscar winner Marlee Matlin and Cybil Shepherd will also guest on the show next season. And for the undying fans of Karina Lombard, who played Jenny�s former love interest Marina, word has it that she�ll also be popping up again in season four.
How many fabulous babes can you stuff onto one show before it implodes? We may just find out in 2007 when the new season of The L Word begins�
Desperate Housewives Goes Dyke?
Eva Longoria, arguably the owner of the hottest bod on Desperate Housewives – male or female – tells Playboy Magazine in their September issue that she�d like to see some girl-on-girl action going down on Wisteria Lane. She suggests that Nicollete Sheridan�s character Edie could really help Marcia Cross� pent-up character Bree to loosen up.
As for her own character, Gabrielle, Longoria says that she�d go for hooking up with Edie as well, saying that �They�d be a pair to reckon with. They would cause quite a ruckus.� Are Logoria�s words a foreshadowing of hot lesbian action to come on the set? Or is she just wishful thinking about climbing in the sheets with Nicollete?
For those who�d like to place a bet on which housewife, if any, finally does get some same-sex lovin� – you can head on over to BetOnSports.com – odds are currently on Nicollete, with Eva & Teri Hatcher running second�
And that�s our dish for this week. Tune in for next week�s Media Blender for all the latest gossip – and meanwhile, have sweet dreams of Kristanna Loken and Katherine Moenning having a long, luscious poolside encounter on next season�s L Word. We know we will.
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