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Ross von Metze | June 26, 2006

Mariah Carey Leave it to a diva!

Just when things couldn�t be going better for Madge (sold out world tour, hit album, killer new look), she opens her big mouth, this time in an attack on long time rival Mariah Carey (not so sold out world tour, bigger hit album, and suddenly skinny again).

Word is Madonna burst into hysterics upon hearing the recent news Mariah would have to cancel stops on her U.S. tour because of lagging ticket sales.

Madonna reportedly laughed �hysterically� after being told her pop rival Mariah Carey had to cancel several tour dates due to poor ticket sales. According to a reports in New York�s Daily News, �Madonna laughed hysterically. She has been asking her tour promoters to email her Mariah's sales.�

Not that the feud is really anything new. Madonna has allegedly been mad at Mimi for years (though a spokeswoman for the singer insists there is no bad blood), dating back to a mid 90�s interview in which Mariah said she listened to Madonna �growing up� but that era of music was behind us. Mariah has also made allusions to Madonna�s less than stellar singing in live concert.

Who among us wouldn�t pay big bucks to see Madge and Mimi face off in a smack down?

In one corner, Yogi, Kabbalah aficionado, avid fencer – The Transplant Brit. And in the other – the woman with a high note that can shatter glass and tits that could crush a small village – Manhattan by way of Long Island.

They�d slap. Madge would get a good jab in, Mariah would head butt her right where the hernia operation has finally showed signs of healing. You think the WFF is fun shit, picture this crap.

Of course, a couple months ago, I�d have given toned Madonna the edge� Mariah was dangerously close to busting the seams on every rhinestone covered mini dress she has stashed in her closet. But now, after rumored pressure from her record label to drop the weight or cover up, a shockingly trim Mariah is ready to hit the road. Get a load of this pic they snapped of her arriving at an event in LA last week. That�s down right "Honey" thin, though her boobs do look like two water balloons ready to burst at the sight of a pin.

For the record, Mariah�s publicist denies any tour dates were canceled due to slow ticket sales: �Her tour is selling well. She's cancelled a few dates so she can add shows in larger cities.�

Show us the extra cities, we�ll back down. For now, Bitch of the Week is a draw. Madge for this one, Mariah for 10 years back!



Angelina Jolie How long will Angelina keep Brad in the picture?

The recent, very un-diva like behavior of Angelina Jolie hasn�t kept the actress / humanitarian/ mother to the world�s children out of the headlines. Jolie recently announced she was relieved when tests revealed baby Zahara was HIV negative. Jolie declined to get her tested until the adoption was final because she says she �would have adopted her� regardless, further support for the gay community�s obsession with Angie.

�It's a life-changing decision to adopt a child, and to be honest, it was a relief when she wasn't diagnosed with HIV,� the actress told reporters at the BBC.

Now that Jolie and Brad Pitt are balancing career with the raising of three kids (both Zahara and Maddox had their names legally changed to Jolie-Pitt when Pitt adopted them earlier this year – new baby Shiloh is a Jolie-Pitt as well, the focus turns from the birth of their child to just how long insiders think the duo will last. Both have said they have no intention of getting married, while Jolie�s ex-lover, model Jenny Shimizu, insists there�s no way Pitt could possibly keep her satisfied in the bedroom.

Now, a source has told E! Online, quote: �By the time that child learns to walk, she'll be on to somebody new.�

Yikes. That�s putting it pretty bluntly! Could it be that, when all is said and done and Angie�s had her fun, Jennifer Aniston might indeed be having the last laugh? Now I don�t profess Vince Vaughn to be any big prize, but odds are he�ll at least be there in the morning. For now the pair are holed up back in the States as Brad prepares to shoot Oceans Thirteen with his new �rat pack� later this summer.



Britney Spears with Matt Lauer Britney Spears entertains her son with provocative dancing

In other mommy news – only this one seems far less qualified to be dishing out any sort of parenting – Britney Spears (who has driven around town with her baby on her lap, let him ride around slumped over in his car seat and almost dropped him while trying to balance a cocktail with her other hand in the 9 short months son Sean Preston has been on this earth) now tells reporters her son gets a kick out of watching her dance – provocatively.

Whether she�s shimmying her ta-tas at the camera, balancing a snake over her head or rolling her all too tan (and now preggers again) body at the crowd, Brit says Sean �lights up� when he sees her dance.

Wonder if that�s how she snared KFed into her web too?

The world is still all abuzz over her Dateline sit down with Matt Lauer last week, in which the star insisted she do her own make-up an hair. The result. She lost an eyelash midway through a cry-fest and her extensions look like they were glued on with Elmers Paste. Her publicist claims that Britney�s a big girl, so the look was her call, but I�m thinking: Even the messiest celebrities can get through life without the media catching their every mistake. How long did Whitney pull off the sobriety sham before the press caught up? JLo convincing people she was actually nice? Maybe Brit needs to head out in search of a new publicist – one who�ll warn her to get the baby out of her lap before the camera comes straight for the car window.



Wedding bells for Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban

And now, just a quick shout out to Nicole Kidman in anticipation of this week's nuptials to country crooner Keith Urban.

For starters, though Tom Cruise is certainly worth more money and one of the biggest stars in the world, I�m sure most of you will agree with my saying Kidman traded up.

Secondly, the fact that you beat Tom to the altar (and managed to keep your pants on and a bun out of your oven til the �I do�s� were said) is certainly a big ole, much deserved slap in his face.

And finally, Ni � you look happy. I know Moulin Rouge, The Others and The Hours marked the kick in the pants your career really needed and scored you the critical acclaim you so richly deserved all these years, but something tells me you drowned yourself in work to forget about a personal life. Now, that side of things seems to have worked out, and we couldn�t be more happy.

So Nic, three big wedding cheers from us to you. And if anyone in Tom�s camp is reading, no public statement wishing her the best. No surprise gift at the reception. Just stand on the sidelines and let her have her moment. This whole last summer was yours and look where it got you. (Note: Mission Impossible III grossed 40% less than II did five years ago).



Hottie of the Week

And now that we�ve gotten the wedding out of the way, a toast� to our Hottie of the Week, in honor of the World Cup, Mr. Cristiano Ronaldo, the mega hot Portuguese-born football (soccer) player who is currently tearing up the field for Manchester�s United of England team.









The 6�1�, 21-year-old stud is known for being a bit of a primadonna on the field (and a bit metro, if you catch that diamond stuff in his ear).















The second highest scorer in the history of World Cup qualifications, Ronaldo scored an astounding $18 million (12.5 million pounds) for his Manchester contract in 2004.










While some suggest a scoop in the neighborhood of $25 million is in the cards, for now, Ronaldo is doing his career best to Manchester at the top. Lord knows if I were on the field, I�d stay out of this guy�s way. Or maybe I�d just tackle him to see what he feels like.







And so, we reach the end of another countdown. We�ve dished on dueling divas, a Hollywood supercouple, a slightly less super couple, a soon to be super couple and a man who doesn�t need to be part of a couple to be considered smokin� hot. Until next time, remember – stop and smell the gossip.
  • Ross von Metzke is the Editor in Chief of Xodus Magazine and a featured columnist for GayWired.com. His work has appeared in YM, Performing Arts, The San Diego Union Tribune, Entertainment Weekly, Instinct and Gay Web Monkey. Ross lives in San Diego.


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