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Special Hollywood Celebrity Buzz – Live from Park City

Ross von Metze | Feruary 01, 2006

Nick Nolte The Sundance Film Festival is in full swing

Celebs are as common a street corner sighting as mud infused slush. The snow is melting, the city is a mess and so, too, are some of the stars.

The streets are a buzz with tales of publicly drunken celebs, films that didn�t fare as well as they should have and a string of surprise celebrity visits at the much-touted Queer Lounge. And while I haven�t seen all of these alleged instances with my own two eyes, I have them on good authority – and in the business of gossip, well, that�s as good as gold, right?

First up, the tale of Nick Nolte� drunk� maybe stoned� and totally off the wagon. Apparently, Nick Nolte showed up at a party earlier this week to promote a film he was in. He knocked back a few, smoked a bit of the friendly Gonja and then insisted he was too blitzed to drive and needed a ride home. Well, at least he�s not getting behind the wheel trashed these days.

So, a good Sundance volunteer stepped up to the plate and took Nick home� 45 minutes away. Keep in mind that Nick didn�t mention this� and the roads are icy� and he�s staying on top of a mountain.

So, Nick (drunk but �extremely nice�, my source tells me) suddenly spots a woman wandering down the side of the road. She�s locked herself out of her condo, and she too is a bit drunk, a bit disoriented. She�s also allegedly an entertainment reporter for US Weekly, but she doesn�t let on, and doesn�t imply that she has any clue who Nick Nolte is.

So Nick, being a gentleman, tries to help a lady out. But after ten minutes of poking and prodding at the lock (the key is wedged inside and broken off), he gives up� and wanders off into the woods. For what? Who knows. He was gone for the better part of half and hour. When he finally returned, he insisted it was time to go home. So, he got back into the car and then drove� a whopping 30 feet. His condo was three doors down.

So, the moral of this story is not that Nick Nolte is a prick or a sleeze. Quite the contrary. All sources seem to indicate he is nice as can be. Still, think about it – Nick Nolte, drunk, walking through the snow while he�s supposed to be pushing a flick. Pretty fucking funny!

It�s All In the Review
Sundance is, admittedly, a mixed bag. Some films get raves (Little Miss Sunshine, with Toni Collette, Steve Carell and an all-star cast in a road trip comedy, is a hoot). Some get slammed (75% of the audience walked out of Thursday night�s gay flick Wild Tigers I Have Known). And some films get what we call, well, a back handed compliment.

Prime example� Friends With Money, a new comedy starring Jennifer Aniston, Joan Cusack and Frances McDormand. The script was deemed witty enough, the direction light and airy, and Cusack and McDormand (as usual) were praised. But Jen. Oh Jen. Try as she might to be taken seriously as an actress, the girl just can�t seem to catch a break. One critic praised the way she looked in her maid�s costume in the film. Another called it a valiant effort.

I call it a slap in the fucking face.

Same with a comment I overhead while leaving the big tobacco attack Thank You for Smoking. Again, lavish praise for Maria Bello and Aaron Eckhart. Katie Holmes, on the other hand, is getting no mention other than critics pondering how much money Tom Cruise paid to get her nude scene dropped on the cutting room floor.


AnneHeche Guess Who�s Gay Again?
OK, so I don�t mean to be a label imposing, gossip spreading bitch� well, OK, maybe just a little, but I couldn�t help but laugh when I picked up this juicy little bit of info. So, good ole� Anne Heche stopped by the Queer Lounge in Park City, Utah to offer her continued support for LGBT filmmakers.

Fair enough. Far be it from me to begrudge a supporter.

But when she wrote �stay queer� on a jumbo-sized bottle of Absolut vodka Queer Lounge is auctioning off for charity, I damn near peed my pants. Um, isn�t this the woman who left Ellen, married a man and had a kid. Stay queer? How bout a little of your own advice, Celestia?

In fairness, Anne could still have a queer sensibility while playing house. And it is for charity. Hey, maybe her sense of irony was an attempt to drive the buck up. See, I can rationalize.

Gwyneth Paltrow And now folks, my favorite story of the week
A list of the D-list celebs I have encountered while walking around Park City. Keep in mind, when I say D-list, I don�t mean actors who�ve just never managed to ascend to the top tier of Hollywood. I mean people who�ve been there and have fallen� hard.

Corey Feldman leaving the William Morris party� um, does he even still have an agent?

Lea Thompson at the same party� I�ll give her a bit more leeway. I mean, after all, suffering Howard the Duck was enough heartache for one lifetime.

Joey Lauren Adams – Boy, she just couldn�t hold it together after Chasing Amy. Eh, at least now she�s writing and directing. To acclaim, no less.

Gwyneth Paltrow – Oh wait, that�s just me wishing she�d drop off the face of the earth.

Lance Bass – Is he fucking out yet?

And, that�s all she wrote, folks. Your little spy reporting for duty from Utah. Enjoy your week. Back live from LA next time.

  • Ross von Metzke is the Editor in Chief of Xodus Magazine and a featured columnist for GayWired.com. His work has appeared in YM, Performing Arts, The San Diego Union Tribune, Entertainment Weekly, Instinct and Gay Web Monkey. Ross lives in San Diego.

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