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Hollywood Celebrity Buzz

Ross von Metze | November 25, 2005

Paris� old lady Kathy Hilton proves like mother, like daughter

Ah, the holidays are just around the corner. The scent of eggnog is wafting through the air, Dreidels are spinning across the tile floor and, in Hollywood, �tis the season to be topless, bottomless and everything in between. Ah, celebrity.

First up on the �take your clothes off and party train� – Kathy Hilton, better known as momma to that bastion of wholesomeness, Paris Hilton.

Fear not! Kathy�s not whipping her melons out at any Hilton company picnics� that we know of. No, Kathy�s display of skin happened years ago, before she was anything more than a struggling, wannabe socialite. The racy pics in question – taken when she was just 14 – have appeared for sale on eBay. Holla!

The sexy snaps show lil Lolita Hilton in a bevy of provocative poses, including one in a skimpy bikini and another showing her lying on a mattress, fully clothed, with her legs open. The seller has identified himself only as �Pierce� and claims he snapped the pics of the former �wild child� at a party. His description of the lot of photos reads: �That was some party that night, and Kathy was my favorite guest! She was always very friendly and outgoing around me.�

The clincher: Kathy's spokesman, Elliot Mintz, insists she isn't angry the sexy pics have appeared on the site. In face, he said she hopes the eventual buyer will be pleased with their purchase.

OK, ok, Kathy. I�ll give you credit for not flying off the handle. But I know damn well somewhere in the back of that little head of yours, you are thanking the Gods above you came of age in a time before camcorders, camera phones, digi cams and anything else that could have caught on tape what happened after your little photo session. For God sakes, lady� you were 14 in 1973. We all know it didn�t stop at, �now show me your upper thigh.�

Mischa Barton�s left nip to the wind

Next up on the tit train: Mischa Barton! Giving new meaning to the term boob tube, it seems The OC star (who went gay for a split sec last season) may or may not have pulled a split-second wardrobe malfunction on last week's episode of the hit Fox show. Pervs, TiVo junkies and folks who still tape crap on Beta are swearing up and down they caught a shot of Barton's nipple as the pajama-clad teen got out of bed in one scene.

Supposedly, a formal FCC complaint had been lodged against the network, alleging the nip-slip was a deliberate ploy for publicity a la Miss Jackson if ur nasty.

So, did Mischa bare her bosom on purpose? According to Page Six, spokespeople for Fox say, �We are not aware of any complaint being filed."

In case you wanna see what the fuss from folks on titty patrol is all about, check out the darkly lit video clip on TVGasm.com which shows Barton popping out of bed and briefly popping out of her top. The tongue-in-cheek site reports that the video was sent to �the TVGasm forensics lab for enhancement.� The result � �A very grainy yet very recognizable boob exposure.�

Is this anything like the time folks complained you could see Jessica Rabbit�s cooter in a split second frame of Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Leave the female body alone, folks!

Housewives star denies firing for flashing manhood

Former Desperate Housewives star Page Kennedy has denied he was fired from the hit show for flashing crew members. When the 28-year-old actor (who played Alfre Woodard�s mysterious basement prisoner Caleb in a handful of episodes) was left go last week, rumors began circulating that the firing stemmed from �improper conduct� – translation: something sexual.

But Kennedy has now hit back at claims he had a problem with flashing people on-set, claiming them �crushing and damaging� to his career. The actor claims he was axed from the show because the studio wanted to do something with his character.

�I definitely need my city (Detroit) to know and understand what's going on,� Kennedy told reporters. �The truth is Touchstone decided to go in a different direction, and they bought out my contract. Anything you've heard to the contrary is all false. The challenge I have right now is trying to get the truth out as aggressively as they got the rumors out. That's the problem. If the truth isn't as juicy as the rumors, who cares?�

So far, folks at Housewives have said nothing to indicate if the rumors are true or false.

But they are entertaining a request from yet another diva to join the dames of Wisteria Lane: Elton John is supposedly desperate for a guest starring role after chatting up Teri Hatcher, who starred in a recent video for the rocker.

�It's so bitchy and funny! I'd love to do Desperate Housewives!�

Hey, if anyone can do bitchy, it�s a queen.

Quick Takes

Matthew McConaughey America�s Sexiest Man

Wooohooo! Let�s hear it for abdominal muscles. The folks at People Magazine have wisely adorned Matthew McConaughey with the title of �sexiest man alive� for 2005. The hunky actor has been setting loins on fire for years, but after getting some of his hair back (wink) and bulking up for this year�s Sahara and Two for the Money, Matty looks extra fine. So how�s the sexy Texan planning to celebrate? By getting a beer gut! Say what?

Apparently, McConaughey insists now that he is officially the world's sexiest man, he can let himself go. �Now I've made it. Wait until you see the roles I could take after this. You're going to see my gut hanging over, plus 22lbs. It'll be a whole new kind of sexy!� Plus, McConaughey says he certainly won�t mind the extra food, because it turns him on� sometimes more than sex, and sometimes to the point that �I get such tingles down my spine that I have to stop and take a break.� Wow! His Latina lover Penelope Cruz agrees with the plan of attack for this second leg of his career, but I sure as shit don�t. We have enough hotties putting their clothes back on now that they�re established. Not you too!

Halle Berry is the new face of Versace

Yeah, girl! Well, since Hollywood offers have died down following Catwoman (what were you thinking, girl?), Halle Berry�s falling back on what she does best – wear clothes and look pretty. The Oscar winning actress met with renowned photographer Mario Testino, famous for snapping the late Princess Diana, for a shoot in Los Angeles last weekend and according to sources, the session was a huge success� much better than the last star studded Versace campaign, featuring Madonna. Apparently, the Kabbalah happy songstress caused such havoc during her shoot, she halted it to meditate and pray. Still, Maddie was paid $10.5 million plus free clothes for a year. No word on Halle�s sum, but here�s hoping its enough for her to avoid another big-budge theatrical disaster.

And that�s just about it everyone. Nudies and hot folks. What more could you want? Til next week � one person�s trash is another person�s rent check!

  • Ross von Metzke is the Editor in Chief of Xodus Magazine and a featured columnist for GayWired.com. His work has appeared in YM, Performing Arts, The San Diego Union Tribune, Entertainment Weekly, Instinct and Gay Web Monkey. Ross lives in San Diego.

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