Hollywood Celebrity Buzz
Ross von Metze | September 21, 2005
Britney Spears brings her baby boy into the world, just in time for perfume launch
It�s amazing what caffeine will do for a brain. Twenty minutes ago, my mind was void of anything fun and gossipy to share with you guys. A Venti Caffe Mocha and half a chocolate cookie later and it�s like the gossip flood gates opened with juicy tidbits and grievous slander.
OK, so first things first. Britney Spears had her baby. Woo hoo.
And now, on to crap we actually care about �
No seriously, I won�t end the baby story quite so abruptly, although I do think the media has paid far too much attention to her impending bundle of joy already.
Born by C-section (really, are there any actresses out there who actually push anymore?), baby Spears (whose name is either Preston or London, the media can�t seem to decide) conveniently came into the world Wednesday afternoon just 24 hours before the international launch of her new perfume, Fantasy.
God, now babies are being born as publicity stunts. Not that I blame the lady. After her failed attempt at a reality series and her last scent, Curious, making a quick descent into the discount bin at Walgreens, she needs a gimmick to help pay for her new $6.9 million Malibu abode.
In all seriousness, congrats. Tonight, my roomie and I will crack a 40 and toast to you, Kevin Federline and your little bambino.
Celebrities Make for Not So Friendly Skies
No one really likes to fly. There are some people who don�t mind it, but I can�t think of anyone who really looks forward to being sandwiched into coach between a lady with a newborn and a 300lbs gentleman who forgot deodorant in his rush to make the flight.
So when I heard a group of flight attendants got together to rank the best and worst celebrity passengers they�d ever flown with, I couldn�t wait to see who ranked at the bottom of the list.
Who�d have thunk I�d be more surprised by the names that fared best? OK, so Sandra Bullock and Julia Roberts don�t really come as much of a surprise. Both have been America�s Sweethearts at various points in their careers, so it�s nice to learn they actually live up to their nicknames. Alicia Keys was also alleged to be very nice – not too far a stretch of the imagination.
But Sharon Stone and Lindsay Lohan really threw me for a loop. The media hasn�t exactly been kind to Lindsay, calling her a party girl, a coke head, a bitch, a slut, speculating that she has an eating disorder. But apparently, the ladies of American Airlines think she�s the greatest thing to come out of Hollywood, even commenting that she said please and thank you while asking for peanuts to wash down her Jack and coke.
And Sharon? Good to the gay community, fun as hell on an awards telecast, has given tons of money to AIDS Research. Dually noted! But there is something about a woman who would sue producers for showing her vagina in a movie where the script required that she not be wearing any underwear in the scene that doesn�t scream friendly flier.
On the no-no list, J-Lo. Big shock. Just last week we were talking about how everyone hates her� now you can add the airline community. Reggie Jackson – he�s in sports. Nuff said. And while Oprah Winfrey may be the woman with 300 cars on television, in the skies, she�s the lady who allegedly kicked multiple people out of first class so she could share a private moment with Steadman. Tsk, tsk.
One Night in Paris Just Got Harder to Come By
To look at her, Paris Hilton looks like a walking sex-aholic. From her fuck me pumps to her way too hoochie skirts, the heiress just seems to be screaming, �come inside.� Well, according to Hilton, it�s all just a façade. Contrary to popular belief (and the couple hundred thousand people who picked up Rick Soloman�s bootleg porn, One Night in Paris), blondie says she�s just not that sexual of a person.
News to some, but not to this columnist. For 20 minutes on that video, Rick goes to town eating her pu**y while she lays there and damn near nods off. Plus, she gives head like a Black & Decker whose batteries are wearing down.
For anyone who is actually surprised, Paris had this to say: �I'm sexual in pictures and the way I dress and my whole image. But at home I'm really not like that. All of my ex-boyfriends – not Paris, of course – would be like, �What's the matter with you? You're so not sexual.��
Well, now I�m stuck trying to determine what exactly other than daddy�s money the girl actually has going for her.
Portia Outs Herself to 98-year-old Grandma
Fans of Portia De Rossi got to learn a little bit more about the stunning, openly gay sitcom star and girlfriend of Ellen DeGeneres thanks to her best selling cover interview with The Advocate. But one story that is sticking in the minds of gay fans is how she told her 98-year-old grandmother she�s a lesbian.
Apparently, most everyone in De Rossi�s tight knit Australian family has known about her sexuality since the late 90s when she was photographed kissing then girlfriend Francesca Gregorini. And while De Rossi says everyone was very supportive, they all agreed it was probably best to leave granny in the dark.
That is until she started asking the wrong questions.
�She made the mistake of asking me about my love life, and I said, �It's great. I'm very very happy, and we've been together for eight months, and everything is wonderful,�� De Rossi tells The Advocate. �And she said, �What's his name?� I took a deep breath and said, �Ellen DeGeneres,� and she looked really confused. The talk show isn't on in Australia , but she remembered Ellen's sitcom and just remembered her as a gay personality.�
De Rossi said the first thing out of grandma�s mouth was, �Well, this is a very bad day.� But, after a few minutes of whining and complaining, grandma sat up in her chair, held her arms out and said, �I love you just the same.� How�s that for a warm and tender coming out story?
Well folks, I guess that about wraps things up for this week. I�m off to decaffeinate, so until next week, remember – one person�s trash is another person�s rent check. – Issued by Gay Link Content
Ross von Metzke is the Editor in Chief of Xodus Magazine and a featured columnist for GayWired.com. His work has appeared in YM, Performing Arts, The San Diego Union Tribune, Entertainment Weekly, Instinct and Gay Web Monkey. Ross lives in San Diego.
Katie Holmes to ditch her stage name for something a bit more Cruisey [14/09/2005]