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Hollywood Celebrity Buzz

Ross von Metze | September 14, 2005

Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise Katie Holmes to ditch her stage name for something a bit more Cruisey

I know many of you are probably sick of hearing about the publicity �love making� machine that is Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise, but this week, I stumbled upon a juicy tidbit I simply couldn�t pass up.

As the dynamic duo make their way toward what many are saying will be the wedding of the century (provided scientologists don�t suck out what�s left of Katie�s brain before the big day), rumor has it the Dawson�s Creek alum is set to take on Tom Cruise's surname, both legally and professionally, when the pair say �I do.� Unlike the actor's previous wives, Mimi Rogers and Nicole Kidman, who retained their own names, Katie is reportedly planning to become Mrs. Cruise.

Katie Cruise? Hmmm. Doesn�t have the greatest ring to it, but wait� it gets better.

Not a couple to stop with tradition, it�s also rumored hat Katie is planning to shed her youngish first name for the more mature Kate – after all, it�s Tom�s �affectionate� nickname for her. A source revealed to America's In Touch magazine: �Tom calls her Kate, so he suggested she start going by that professionally.�

Kate Cruise? If ever a name sounded more contrived� Why doesn�t he just completely rid her of all originality? Then she�d be just like one of those kids on a WB show. Oh wait a minute!

Jennifer Lopez PETA After J'Lo Again; Actress Ditches Co-stars for Private Tent

Boy, Jennifer Lopez sure has mastered the art of pissing people off. Remember when she used to be the hottest thing in tinseltown. Then came the Puffy shootout, Ben, her clothing line, Gigli, numerous tales of diva-like antics and on-set temper tantrums, Glow, her wedding to Marc Anthony less than a month after he divorced his wife, her piss poor Grammy performance with Marc, her piss poor performance opposite Jane Fonda and Wanda Sykes in Monster in Law – and just when you though there was no one left on earth to dislike JLo, she went and alienated the animal folk.

JLo uses fur in her upscale clothing line, Sweetface. She frequently wears fur to her public appearances. So when the glam goddess showed up at the New York premiere of her latest film, An Unfinished Life (which was supposed to be her Monster but has been plagued by mediocre reviews, perhaps, some critics suggest, because no movie critic wants to like a Jennifer Lopez pic), she was besieged by angry anti-fur protestors.

Members of PETA – People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals – gathered with placards and banners. One sign showed a picture of an animal killed for its fur with the slogan: �Here's an unfinished life.�

Apparently livid, Jen took her attitude out on co-stars of the film, said an attendee of the opening. While cast members including Morgan Freeman and Robert Redford gathered with family, friends, crew members, director Lasse Hallstrom and his wife Lena Olin in one tent for the premiere�s after party, Lady Lopez resigned herself to another tent with her hubby and his family.

I want to like you, Jen� I really� No, you know, on second thought, right now, I�m actually content not really liking you so much.

Scarlett Johansson The Hills Are Alive With Bass/Baritone Johansson

Poor Julie Andrews has lost her voice. This was never more evident than watching her play second fiddle to Raven Symone during a little ditty in The Princess Diaries 2. So, it would seem wise to let her legacy live on with classic performances like her beloved Maria in The Sound of Music.

But, always looking to make quick buck, Hollywood and theatre producers simply can�t let sleeping dogs lie, and so we get crap like this trickling down the news wire: �Scarlett Johansson looks set to play singing nun Maria in a new stage version of The Sound of Music.�

What? Not to review her performance before I�ve seen it, but has anyone ever heard Scarlett Johansson speak? She�s a bass on a good day. Her rasp is one part Demi, one part Pacino. Unless it�s a come-on for publicity or she�s a serious freak of nature, there is no was on God�s green Earth she�ll be able to hit those notes� not to mention the fact that I really don�t want to see her running across Alps flanked by a handful of Aryan poster children and carrying a Ukulele.

Even producer Andrew Lloyd Webber doesn�t sound convinced.

According to Britain's Daily Mail newspaper, Lloyd Webber believes Scarlett will be perfect for the part, telling friends: �She sings well, certainly as well as anyone else.� Gee, such high praise. Now, does that mean she sings as well as Barbra or she sings as well as Julia Roberts in that Woody Allen musical a few years back?

The new The Sound of Music is set to be staged at the London Palladium theatre next year. Well, hat�s at least one reason to be thankful for Bush. He�s fucked our economy up so much, I can�t even afford to be miserable with 1,500 other audience members.

Oprah Winfrey Stars Give and Give to Katrina Victims

For just a moment, I�d like to get serious! This past week and a half, many of us have sat and watch lives destroyed and families ripped apart by the devastation of Hurricane Katrina. While I am certain many have pitched in or made financial contributions anonymously, I�d like to take just a moment to single out a few famous faces who have gone above and beyond for the victims of this great tragedy.

Oprah Winfrey: While I�m sure you�ve donated an ungodly sum of money to this cause, it�s your seemingly endless good will and ability to shine the light on a dire situation that really touched us this time around. You got in there with the people, trudged through water with your crew, and told the personal stories news media so often glosses over. Thank you for being a true pioneer.
John Travolta: A friend joked they should use your plane to rescue people. Who�d have thought you�d actually do just that. Taking vaccines to the sick and assisting in transport� nice going, John.
Celine Dion: The $1 million pledge was nice, but going off on President Bush on Larry King Live and essentially telling the government to get their heads out of their asses and save these people� that�s what truly sets you apart.
Sean Penn: So many chalked up your getting a row boat and rounding up people to a ploy for publicity. Seeing that you don�t have a movie coming out and you have a history of putting your heart to good use, I think I can safely thank you for doing what so few have� getting in there and fighting the good fight.

Harry Connick Jr., Macy Gray, Matthew McConaughey, Hilary Swank, Morgan Freeman: All celebrities who were in New Orleans when the hurricane struck or have ties to New Orleans. All celebrities who turned right around and volunteered, from Swank and McConaughey assisting rescue workers to Gray handing out toiletries and food at shelters to Connick Jr. giving news crews a tour of the damage to Freeman rounding up celebrity friends to give money, food and blankets, kudos for being there in the time of need.
I know it isn�t really the purpose of this column to get all warm and fuzzy, but sometimes, there are more important things than celebrity gossip to report on. Keep your loved ones safe and close. Until next time! – Issued by Gay Link Content

  • Ross von Metzke is the Editor in Chief of Xodus Magazine and a featured columnist for GayWired.com. His work has appeared in YM, Performing Arts, The San Diego Union Tribune, Entertainment Weekly, Instinct and Gay Web Monkey. Ross lives in San Diego.

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