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Hollywood Celebrity Buzz

Ross von Metze | September 07, 2005

Eddie Murphy trades trannies for Mariah Carey

Just last week we were talking about the recently divorced Eddie Murphy�s taste for trannies, and now, the press is leaking that he�s hooked up with Mariah Carey. I know Eddie has a foul sense of humor sometimes, but come on! Does it get any better than this?

Honestly, I don�t doubt that Mimi�s all woman, but Mariah, all blinged out as she rides high on the success of her smash hit album The Emancipation of Mimi, doesn�t need a down on his luck, middle aged Hollywood actor dragging her down.

I hope to God it�s a rumor. Seeing as how they supposedly hooked up at the MTV�s Video Music Awards in Miami, until I see confirmation that the two are an item, I�m blaming the Hurricane for Mariah having a momentary lapse in judgment. Didn�t girl learn anything from Brangelina? It doesn�t look good when you hook up with a man before the ink is dry.

On to something a tad bit easier to swallow�

Britney�s eyeing a possible stint in Vegas

Nevermind. This one�s just as lodged in my throat? Come again? A pregnant girl who can�t sing live, broke her kneecap the last time she tried a complicated dance move and still has bun number one in her about to burst oven is actually taking the time to scheme up a Vegas comeback? This just has disaster written all over it.

Now I know Celine Dion did away with the myth that Vegas is for has beens, but Britney Lynne Spears� you are 23 years old with a newborn child and, given the trashy lifestyle you and your hubby seem to lead, probably 16 more on the way. The last time you did Vegas, you got plastered and married your best friend, only to turn your back on him and have it annulled a few days later.

So why put your friends, family and especially your fans through this? Why burden yourself with a rigorous Vegas schedule? I know the paycheck seems nice, but with your perfume Curious selling at Rite Aid and your collaboration with Maddie collecting dust in the Tower Records import discount bin, how many high profile flops do you need before you give up and stay home baking cupcakes for day camp? For the love of God, please� sit this one out!

Martha loses her bracelet, but still under careful watch

So Martha Stewart is finally ankle bracelet free as the home confinement device the entertaining guru has worn for more than five months was cut loose yesterday. But while Martha is free to go flit about the world and promote her latest endeavor, The Apprentice: Martha Stewart, she's not completely home free yet.

Under the terms of her probation, she�s prohibited from getting drunk, owning a gun or visiting with any of her former roomies at Camp Cupcake. Well, at least now we know her neighbors are safe.

During her house arrest, Martha complained vehemently about the discomfort the bracelet added to her life. Though prison turned out a slimmer, spunkier more subdued Martha, odds are once she�s free of her anklet, shades of the bitch the government sent to prison will begin to emerge.

One�s too fat, one�s too small One�s too fat, one�s too small

And finally, food is the topic of discussion for two stars this week as critics lash out at one for being too small and the other for being too big.

First up: Star Jones. Now Star has lost a tremendous amount of weight in recent months, mostly to trim up for her wedding last year to Al �alleged former homosexual� Reynolds. But late night talk show host Jimmy Kimmel still hasn�t let up. On a recent episode, he laid into Star about everything from her weight to her wedding and her Payless ads. One big problem: Vivica A. Fox, his guest for the night, is one of Star�s best friends, and she was not pleased.

After asking Kimmel to back down so the two could start over, Kimmel suggested Star, Al, Vivica and himself grab a late night meal to smooth things over. Vivica, who�d obviously had it at this point, countered: �You would get your ass kicked... I would have to take off my shoe and beat you down, brother!�

So I guess that means you can put away the deep fryer, Star.

On the other end of the scale, Courteney Cox says she is sick to death of people labeling her with an eating disorder and suggesting she�s having a negative influence on teenage girls.

�If I like myself a certain way, I shouldn't have to feel like I'm responsible for anorexia across the country,� Cox is quotes as saying in Page Six. �I have never had any control over what anyone does, in any capacity. If I like myself at this weight, this is what I'm going to be.�

Sounds very similar to a certain Lara Flynn Boyle tirade a few years back. OK, so Courteney, I�ll give you skinny� just don�t strap on a pair of ballet slippers and get your lips pumped with restalin any time soon. OK, tis all the dirt I have to fling for the week. And remember� one person�s trash is another person�s rent check. – Issued by Gay Link Content

  • Ross von Metzke is the Editor in Chief of Xodus Magazine and a featured columnist for GayWired.com. His work has appeared in YM, Performing Arts, The San Diego Union Tribune, Entertainment Weekly, Instinct and Gay Web Monkey. Ross lives in San Diego.

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