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Ross von Metze | June 21, 2005

Tom Cruise The Tom Cruise vs. Brooke Shields battle

Point one goes to Cruise who, on the Oprah Winfrey Show, lashed out at Shields for using Paxil to cope with the post-partum depression she says she suffered following the birth of her daughter, Rowan. Shields chronicles the experience in her New York Times bestseller �Down Came the Rain.� Cruise says the use of drugs to get through the experience �is to cope, it didn�t cure anything.� Cruise, who advocates Scientology, a religion which condemns mind altering drugs, instead suggests women cope by using �vitamins and exercise.�

Cruise also lashed out at the state of Shields� career, saying �I care about Brooke Shields because I think she is an incredibly talented women, (but) look at where her career has gone."

OK, OK – rebuttal time. Shields, who is currently starring in Chicago on London�s West End, thinks Cruise should �stick to saving the world from aliens and let women who are experiencing postpartum depression decide what treatment options are best for them." I�m not sure if that�s an allusion to the forthcoming War of the Worlds or her take on Scientology.

Shields then took it a step further, telling Cruise she would leave one adult and one children�s ticket for him and Katie Holmes at will call.

Oh, what�s Tommy going to say next? Here�s a rematch I�m itching to see. And hey, you know, it really could go either way. Just remember, Shields is a good �Mini-Me� taller than Tom.



Bea Arthur Bea Arthur in rare TV appearance

I saw the words Bea Arthur and gasped. You know the gay gasp where you instantly give away that there�s a homosexual in the room? Then I saw that she�d be playing Larry David�s mom in up-coming episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm – the gasp became a squeal and I had to step outside.

Bea admits Curb is one of two shows she can stomach watching on television (The Daily Show is the other – congrats Jon Stewart) and, after talking with the powers that be over at HBO, Larry made Bea an offer she couldn�t refuse. Pop by when your schedule permits and we�ll work you into the episode.

Of course, die hard fans of the show know Larry�s mom is dead. Fear not – this is comedy, and for Bea, Larry�s made arrangements. Look for her first episode to air late summer, 2005.



Lindsay Lohan Paparazzi run Lindsay Lohan off the road

Just weeks after Reese Witherspoon filed suit against two paparazzi who had her and her daughter trapped in their car in a parking lot for nearly 30 minutes, the bad guys have struck again – this time, rear ending Lindsay Lohan�s car as they chased her away from an event.

The teen star said she suffered a sore neck and not much else, but the 24-year-old cameraman was arrested for reckless endangerment. No word from Lohan�s camp yet on whether charges will be pressed, but as more stars are getting increasingly fed up by paparazzi behavior, it seems logical to me that a severe backlash is just around the corner.



Jerry�s Kept men need reality check

OK, so I�m a week or two late, but I just watched the second episode of Jerry Hall�s VH1 reality series Kept and I have one word – hooked. Screw Manhunt and Queer Eye – this is officially gay reality TV at its best.

Jerry, who�s nearing 50, dripping in dough and in the need for some arm candy to galavant around Europe with, is narrowing down from 12 eligible men to find herself a personal butt boy. OK, that�s what we�d call it in gay language. She says she�s just in the market for a kept boy to keep her company, make her look good and collect a six figure paycheck for his troubles.

Enter the troops, including Ricardo and Slavco – as one of the other contestants puts it, they take twice as long as everyone else in the bathroom because they�re busy �licking their own reflection off the mirror.� These guys are so into themselves, if they could take five, I swear they�d be screwing each other. The goal is to be Jerry�s kept man, but I dunno. I get a definite gay vibe from these two. Both swear they�re in it til the end, but Jerry�s already on to Ricardo. �He�s very handsome,� she says, �but they�re something about a primadonna man that�s just so unattractive.



Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi Ellen and Portia purchase new love nest

You know, it just occurred to me. If Portia De Rossi married Ellen DeGeneres, they could technically do the hyphen thing and claim they both got to keep their last names. Just an observation.

Anyway, the happy couple are officially taking the next step – moving in together. The duo just purchased a Hollywood Hills love nest from none other than Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt. Now that they won�t be needing a place to call home anymore (what with Jennifer making a movie every minute and Brad shacking up with Angie in Morocco), Jen even reportedly knocked a few mil off the price tag. The home, on the market for $20 million, reportedly went to El for just under $17 million. I say it went to Ellen because, love you Portia, but Arrested Development doesn�t do so well in the ratings, so me thinks your little lady probably slapped down the majority of the asking price.

Anywho, we hope the duo will be very happy shacking up in the lap of luxury.

And that�s all for me this week folks. As a reminder, if there�s anything you really think we should be talking about, drop me an e-mail at Ross von Metzke. Until next time, one person�s trash is another person�s rent check. – Issued by Gay Link Content

  • Ross von Metzke is the Editor in Chief of Xodus Magazine and a featured columnist for GayWired.com. His work has appeared in YM, Performing Arts, The San Diego Union Tribune, Entertainment Weekly, Instinct and Gay Web Monkey. Ross lives in San Diego.


    Previous edition
    Scary, Baby, Sporty, Posh and Ginger back in action – together [02/06/2005]

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