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Ross von Metze | May 18, 2005

Renee Zelweger and Kenny Chesney Renee Zelweger and Kenny Chesney's marriage

I don�t know about you, but I just love it when random straight, celebrity couples run off and get married. Remember Julia Roberts and Lyle Lovett? Lisa Marie and Jacko? Britney and that thug she met in Vegas?

The latest celeb pairing might not seem quite so crazy, but when country singer Kenny Chesney married pie faced Oscar Winner Renee Zellweger over the weekend, I watched a lot of homos step back and sign a collective, �Huh?�

I, for one, didn�t even know they were couple. Just last week, a co-worker and I were wondering is she was still linked to that Irishman Damien Rice. Well after Renee slipped on a Carolina Herrera dress and said �I do� on a beach in St. John over the weekend, I guess we got our answer.

The two met at a Tsunami relief benefit four months ago (sounds like proper lesbian courting period to me) and were supposedly smitten. But what�s weird is that Chesney has carried a torch for Zelweger for years. The singer says he wrote the 1999 hit You Had Me At Hello after falling in love with Renee in Jerry Maguire. Hot, and just a wee bit creepy too.

Kenny a grade A hottie, so for that I offer Renee my congrats. And while part of me wants to take dibs on whether they�ll make it to year�s end without citing �Irreconcilable Differences,� some small thought in my mind wonders if these two crazy kids aren�t just oddly matched enough to pull it off.



Simon and Paula Simon defends Paula and unleashes her scariest performance yet

Making the morning talk show rounds before Tuesday�s episode of American Idol, Simon Cowell came to Paula Abdul�s defense, saying he seriously doubts she slept with Corey Clarkand supporting her job as �the judge who bonds with and encourages the contestants.�

Sweet, odd and a bit out of character, yes! But not nearly so strange as what happened next.

That night, on the live performance show, Simon could have slapped Paula upside the face with a 2 x 4 – she wouldn�t care. Far as she was concerned, the sun, moon and stars rose in Simon Cowell, her new knight in shining armor.

When he insulted contestants, she nodded in approval. When he called one song cheesy and schmaltzy, she said �You mean syrupy. Syrupy, right?� And at one point, trying her damndest to make an animated point, she slammed her elbow into the table so hard I heard it dislocate – but I�ll be damned if she didn�t miss a beat. So the vote at the moment is that Paula�s definitely on uppers, and if she is indeed sleeping around, I�ll bet I know who got some fierce head Tuesday night.



Toni Braxton Wendy Williams comes after Toni Braxton�s nose

A few weeks ago we chatted about Wendy Williams, the New York Radio Talk Host who�s come after Whitney, Britney, Mariah and just about any other diva who has fallen from grace. Well, in a recent interview, Wendy called out Toni Braxton�s nose job – only unlike most divas, she admitted it.

Asking Toni when she got her nose done, Toni said �Oh, bout 11 years ago.� Following it up by asking Toni why her hair�s changed colors, Toni said �girl, half that wasn�t my hair.� Wendy asks Toni if she still has money troubles and Toni says, �Girl, my last album tanked. You know I�m counting the pennies.�

Toni has a new album due out this summer and the lead single Please (a seriously hot jam, so check it out) was serviced to radio last week. And I gotta say it�s refreshing to see a diva be front and center with her secrets.

The funny as shit moment came, however, when Wendy turned the focus to Toni�s sister Tamar, saying: �Oh girl, what happened to your nose. One of your nostrils is bigger than the other.�

�She didn�t go to my doctor,� Toni cackled, to which Tamar responded, �The swelling hasn�t gone down yet.�

Well alright for a plastic surgery fiesta live on the radio.

For the interview in its entirety, go to www.toni-online.com and look for the Wendy Williams link.



Michael and Macauley So the Home Alone kids says Jacko never touched him

Macaulay Culkin took to the stand this week and declared for the world to hear that in all of his time spent at the Neverland Ranch as a kid, Michael Jackson never laid an inappropriate hand on him.

At least not that he knows of.

Prosecutors attempted to imply that said molestation could have taken place while Culkin was asleep, a possibility the former child star says he �seriously doubts.�

Well, that�s one person in Michael�s corner, though I�d be curious to see how Mac might fare if he were to square off with, oh say, Nancy Grace.

Hey, given Mac�s recent run in the press, maybe the two could go off and smoke a Doobie sometime and reminisce about the time Mac�s deadbeat dad took Nancy for a roll in the hay behind her childhood barn.



Jerry Hall VH-1 gets Mantastic in June

The reality craze continues with two new shows premiering on VH-1, only this time, the two new reasons to tune in promise lots of skin and gold-digging – two great gay American pastimes.

First up on Kept, Jerry Hall will look for the perfect man slave who will serve as arm candy, fulfill her sexual desires and basically do anything she wants. Unless you have a strong stomach, gay men need not apply, but it should still make for fun viewing.

Up next is Strip Search where 15 men will wax, work out and study the moves of Vegas showmen in an attempt to make it on the Strip. Producers of The Thunder from Down Under (you know, those Aussies who strip and make middle aged housewives faint) will monitor training sessions and promise killer abs by the series finale. I�m setting up TiVo now! Both shows premiere May 29th.

And there you have it, another week of celebrity sludge. Hope this week�s gossip finds you well, and as always, one person�s trash is another person�s rent check. – Issued by Gay Link Content

  • Ross von Metzke is the Editor in Chief of Xodus Magazine and a featured columnist for GayWired.com. His work has appeared in YM, Performing Arts, The San Diego Union Tribune, Entertainment Weekly, Instinct and Gay Web Monkey. Ross lives in San Diego.


    Previous edition
    Gossip mongers bonkers over Paula Abdul scandal [11/05/2005]

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