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Ross von Metze | May 11, 2005

Paula Abdul Gossip mongers bonkers over Paula Abdul scandal

American Idol fans, gossip mongers, gay men and just about anyone who owned the Forever Your Girl album have been chomping at the bit for months – what sort of dirt did former AI contestant Corey Clark have on Paula Abdul, the judge he claimed spent lavish amounts of money on him to fuel his career provided he keep their affair quiet?

ABC aired the expose "Fallen Idol" where Corey Clark (who doesn�t exactly have the best track record for being on the up and up, hence his getting the boot from AI after producers found out he�d lied about a rap sheet and had been convicted of kicking his ex-girlfriend�s ass) took Paula to the cleaners. Taped phone calls, accusations, receipts, allegations, witnesses� he couldn�t have planned it better.

Which is why I�m going on record suggesting that he did plan it. Look, Paula Abdul, like it or not, is a huge star – and that star is shining brighter than ever before now that she�s on America�s most popular program and hosting segments on Entertainment Tonight. So what if giving contestants a leg up in more ways than one is technically illegal. Why you gotta go and rat a girl out? You�re lucky someone gave you a dime, you ungrateful bastard. Most of those AI castoffs wind up working the late shift at some bar in Weho, or worse, back in their home town running a karaoke business and changing diapers like that pink haired girl from season one.

Whatever the investigation digs up, Paula – kudos for getting laid by a guy who�s half you age (if that indeed happened). I�m officially calling the drug watch off because: a. You�ve got enough trouble right now. b. In recent episodes, you appear cool and collected. c. If you really are getting that much sex, by all means, pop a Tylenol PM or two.

Corey Clark, get a spine. No wonder that ex of your pressed charges.



Jennifer Beals L Word star preggers with first kid – other celebs with buns in the oven?

The Grande Dame of lesbian TV has a bun in the oven – 41-year-old L Word hottie Jennifer Beals is pregnant with her first kid with her husband of seven years. No word yet on whether they�ll write the pregnancy into the show or pull a �she�s depressed and fat� storyline like they tried on Will & Grace.

Which got me to thinking about all of the other celebrities who have been rumored pregnant over the last few months. Demi Moore (God bless the woman for getting porked by Ashton every night), Jessica Simpson (terrible mom – just terrible), Reese Witherspoon (I think I�d have 20 kids if it meant 20 times in the sack with Ryan Phillippe), Jennifer Garner (honey, you are way too hot to be wasting your time with Ben Dumbfluck), J-Lo (hey, at least the kid would have white fur booties and rhinestone jewelry). Paris Hilton says life will finally be complete when she gets knocked up, trashy hoe Brit is a few months along and Christina Aguilera and Monica have both hinted that the time is drawing near.

Apparently, little dogs are out þ little people are now the best red carpet accessory.



Nicolette Sheridan Nicolette Sheridan denies Housewives rift

With all of the drama in the media about the Desperate Housewives all being at each other�s throats in jealousy and rage, Wisteria Lane�s resident slut Nicolette Sheridan has asked the press to knock it off, insisting the girls are all really friends and this supposed feud has been blown way out of proportion.

�It's so funny, all this talk about what goes on between the women in the cast,� Sheridan is quoted as saying on Internet Movie Database. �If we were five men, there wouldn't be this discussion. We all get along fine. Of course, I can only speak for myself, but as far as I'm concerned, I have great respect and admiration for my co-stars, I thoroughly enjoy working with them and the only complaint I have is that I wish I had more time on set.�

Sheridan is the latest star to deny feuding, behind costars James Denton, Felicity Huffman and Eva Longoria. Rumors of on set troubles reached their peak last month when stories of photo shoot catfights and shouting matches during a Vanity Fair cover shoot hit tabloids. Funny that neither of the women rumored to be in the middle of that showdown (Teri Hatcher and Marcia Cross) have bothered to comment.



Angelina and Brad Angelina and Brad having rough sex?

Now that photos have confirmed the most talked about duo are at least spending time together, rumors are beginning to fly about how exactly they spend that time.

Britain�s Daily Mirror is reporting that, while vacationing in Africa with little Maddox in town, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie got it on so loudly one night, security was called in to investigate.

After armed guards rushed to their room, a hotel source said: �It sounded like a wounded animal, like someone being killed. The screaming stopped and Brad said 'Everything is cool guys. You can leave, we're OK.� Ummmmm �.. Hmmmmm �.. I think I�m going to run home and rent Troy, Thelma & Louise and Meet Joe Black and call it an early night.

So there you have it for the week folks. Whitney�s out of rehab, Britney made it one more week without drinking while she�s pregnant and, if you check back next week, I should be able to report whether Paula�s any closer to heading up the river or not.

Until then, remember: One person�s trash is another person�s rent check. – Issued by Gay Link Content

  • Ross von Metzke is the Editor in Chief of Xodus Magazine and a featured columnist for GayWired.com. His work has appeared in YM, Performing Arts, The San Diego Union Tribune, Entertainment Weekly, Instinct and Gay Web Monkey. Ross lives in San Diego.


    Previous edition
    Paula Abdul plays doctor [04/05/2005]

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