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Ross von Metze | April 06, 2005

Missy Elliott gay?

They say you aren’t truly famous until the press calls you gay. If that’s true, both Missy Elliott and the chick who won America’s Next Top Model last season can thank radio DJ Wendy Williams for making them stars.

Williams has made herself famous on the New York scene for taking divas such as Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey to task when life has slapped them upside the head (I will never forget Wendy telling Whitney, after girl had lost some major weight smoking crack, ‘Come on, Whitney. Your tits look like two tennis balls on a broom stick).

Now, she’s telling her regular listeners Missy is hitting the sheets with Model winner Eva Pigford. The two were seen attending a performance of the off-Broadway play Madea Goes to Jail, but according to Mona Scott, who is the publicist of both ladies, the two were there with Scott, all three ladies enjoying a night on the town.

"Wendy Williams has basically linked all of my clients together,” Scott says. “She's a gossip-monger and does this stuff for ratings and so listeners will tune in."

Elliott is no stranger to lesbian rumors. She’s been linked to everyone from Queen Latifah to Whitney. And, off the record, I gotta say I know a few lesbians who have told me on good authority that Missy bats for our team.



Britney Spears Britney says enough to tabloid abuse

Tabloids from coast to coast have teamed up to declare definitively that Britney Spears, pop princess of yesteryear, is preggers. From daring to order decaf at Starbucks to enjoying a night on the town with the girls sans alcohol, all evidence suggests Britney is with child.

But Miss Spears has a little message of her own for the press. In a letter written to any and all tabloids speculating on the reason behind her ever-expanding belly, Britney has written the following: "As you read this letter, I bet you are asking yourself: Who? Who, me? Am I a false tabloid? Well, I don't know. But after this posting, I hope you are asking yourself a lot of questions. Your employees are a reflection of your magazine. Do you, Us Weekly, In Touch, Star and other desperate magazines want employees who are honest, or those who are liars? It seems to me that you'd prefer the latter. I'm really concerned about the people you hire to work at your companies. I'd like them to ask themselves the question, 'What am I lying to myself about?' Is it that you are 50 pounds overweight? Is it that your children aren't making wise decisions? Or is it maybe that your husband or boyfriend is cheating on you? Until you face what is going on in your life, I guess you'll remain a false tabloid.”

I maintain that this sounds like the combination of a woman pissed that too many people saw her gorging on buffalo chicken wings and KFC and the drunken ramblings of a pissed off former pop icon. Regardless, it’s funny as shit.



Catherine Zeta-Jones Dallas movie in the works without Zeta-Jones

No sooner than my wildest dreams were about to become a reality than some bitch publicist had to go and dash them against the rocks. For weeks, word in Hollywood has been that the diva to end all divas herself, Miss Catherine Zeta-Jones, has been bucking for the lead in the Dallas movie. Can we say type casting? We damn Sarah Fuller. That’s the ho publicist who basically said Catherine has no interest in the part.

According to Fuller, rumors claiming the actress is on the verge of signing to the project are completely false. Fuller says, "Reports regarding Catherine Zeta-Jones being cast in the feature film, Dallas, are incorrect. There have been no discussions regarding this." Jones' Ocean's Twelve co-star Brad Pitt has also been touted to feature in the film, which begins shooting later this year.

Too damn bad, because that is some sexual relations I would have paid big bucks to see.



Rosie O’Donnell Rosie says sorry to Fat Actress

After implying that Fat Actress star Kirstie Alley might be lying about her peak weight at the time shooting began on her hit reality series (“I weigh 245 on a good day, so there’s no way that lying bitch weights 210,” former Queen of Nice Rosie O’Donnell said on her Website), the crazy lady has backed down.

In yet another poem on her weblog, Rosie has apologized, saying – ..the phone / kirstie with hurt feelings / i am sorry 4 that. ... never been joan rivers / kickin people when they are down / too ez – not me /u r not the target.

Aight loco, whatever you say.



Sandra Bullock Why I love Sandra Bullock

This isn’t really gossip so much as a story. As Miss Congeniality 2 packs in the crowds at theatres, I’m reminded of the first time I met Sandra Bullock.

I was in college, her costar was Ben Affleck and the film was Forces of Nature.

OK, stop laughing. In gossip columns, we spend so much time ragging on the stars who are bitchy, self-centered, lack talent and need a swift kick to the face. So I thought it would be nice to share a memory about someone who I feel is the real deal.

First off, unlike many celebrities, Sandra is far prettier in person than her movies might imply. Without question, she’s stunning.

Greeting a room of college students, she shook everyone’s hand, offered to get muffins for the table while she was standing and even bonded with a student from Austin, the city she lives in, telling him to “wave hi” the next time he saw her driving around town.

Minutes later, as Ben Affleck is puffing away on a cigar, gloating about his Oscar win and, overall, coming off like a real fuck, Sandy chimes in, reminding the table that she has a “Blockbuster Entertainment Award for most popcorn purchases with a video rental” and telling the budding journalists to ask Ben about something we “gave a shit about.”

For being real and never losing sight of where you came from, we salute you Sandra.

And there you have it – all the shit and smack talking I could dig up this week. Thanks for keeping it real and reading and as always, one person’s gossip is another person’s rent check. – Issued by Gay Link Content

  • Ross von Metzke is the Editor in Chief of Xodus Magazine and a featured columnist for GayWired.com. His work has appeared in YM, Performing Arts, The San Diego Union Tribune, Entertainment Weekly, Instinct and Gay Web Monkey. Ross lives in San Diego.


    Previous edition
    Whitney checks into rehab again [30/03/2005]

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